Returning All the Way to Hashem

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

In Parshas Vayeilech, Moshe warns the Jewish People that in the future, they will stray from Hashem, and in turn Hashem will send great afflictions upon the nation. The Jews will call out, saying: “Because Hashem is not with us, He has sent upon us all of these afflictions.” Despite this, Hashem will continue to punish them (Devarim 31:16,17).

The Ramban says that within these words of the nation are two important elements of teshuva — regret over their misdeeds and vidui (admission of sins). Most likely the nation made some form of resolution for the future not to return to sin, as the laws of teshuva require. If so, why did Moshe declare that Hashem would continue punishing them? They were well on their way in the teshuva process!

The Ramban answers that although the nation did vidui, it was not a “complete vidui.” For the Ramban, this was apparently a clear answer, but for us it lacks vital information. What determines if a vidui is complete or not?

The Slonimer Rebbe suggests that for teshuva to work, a very strong form of regret and vidui is required. The people Moshe described were doing teshuva in response to afflictions. When one’s motivation is only to relieve himself of pain, his regret and vidui will not be strong enough for the teshuva process to take hold. His resolution for the future will likely be weak and not entirely sincere.

Complete vidui is the result of wanting to correct one’s way of life and do Hashem’s will. If this is a Jew’s motivation in teshuva, his regret for sins is much deeper. His thinking will be: “If Hashem hates such behavior, then it is disgusting to me. I cannot do this anymore, because it goes against Hashem’s will.”

In the Haftara of Vayeilech, the Navi Hoshea (14:2) calls upon the nation: “Return all the way to Hashem…” In Yoma (86a), the Sages explain what is meant by the prophetic words “all the way” — “Great is teshuva in that it reaches all the way to Hashem’s Throne of Glory.”

This is hard to understand. Hashem’s “Throne of Glory” is not a physical chair floating in space, but rather a profound spiritual concept. The little bit that is revealed to us is that it is made up of the souls of the greatest tzaddikim. What connection is there between the teshuva of an average Jew and Hashem’s Throne of Glory?

Moreover, we know that for teshuva to be effective it must also be realistic. A person who is mired in sin cannot break away from every wrong practice at once. Such drastic changes are doomed to failure. Self-improvement is a gradual process and meanwhile, the Jew doing teshuva is still far away from completing his goal. How can such teshuva connect to Hashem’s Throne of Glory? And how can the prophet call upon the entire nation to do such a teshuva?

Harav Chaim Friedlander explains that while teshuva certainly must be done in small steps, it must be accompanied from the outset by the aspiration to reach deveikus in Hashem, which is expressed by “clinging to Hashem’s Throne of Glory.”

If a Jew doing teshuva feels he is doing nothing more than correcting a certain misbehavior, in effect he is only restricting himself, like a person on a diet. Real teshuva means taking small steps but with the intent of repairing one’s relationship with Hashem. As the Rambam states openly (Laws of Teshuva 7:6), one who sins is “hated” by Hashem, and one who repents is “beloved” by Him. When a Jew knows that his sins are distancing him from Hashem, and his motivation in teshuva is to get close to Him, this is called “reaching Hashem’s Throne of Glory.”

Although it may look as though such a person is merely correcting slight aspects of his behavior, in his aspirations he is making a sea change. He knows that there is more to life than simply enjoying the material pleasures of this world, and his goal is to realize his spiritual purpose in life — to fulfill Hashem’s will.

Once, a person complained to Rav Shach: “In Elul there are all sorts of shiurim and drashos about doing teshuva, and for many people it gets the process going, but by Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan (just a month later), everybody seems to forget about it and go back to his old routine. What can be done?”

“Maybe before doing teshuva it would be good to learn the very first ruling of the Shulchan Aruch,” answered Rav Shach. “There, the Rama teaches us to keep Hashem before us at all times. If a person learns and fulfills this halacha, he will live with the awareness that Hashem is right here with him. Now, when people live together, they try not to upset each other. If a Jew feels that he is living every moment with Hashem, it’s only natural that he will make sure not to upset Him, too!”

May our teshuva reach Hashem’s Throne of Glory!