פרשת וארא
In this week’s parsha, the plagues begin. Due to the mounting pressure placed on Moshe, G-d reassures him that everything will be okay and the Jewish people will be sent out of Egypt. G-d adds “ואני אקשה את לב פרעה… והוצאתי את עמי…”. G-d promising to “harden Pharaoh’s heart” is very puzzling for any one who has a basic knowledge of our faith. Could G-d really pledge to control Pharaoh like a puppet? What happened to free will?
The Rambam answers this difficulty powerfully in Hilchos Tshuva Chapter 6 Halacha 3. He says that every person has free will. A person’s own choices alone determine who he becomes. However, if a person does a great sin or continually transgresses, there is a certain point when his free will can be terminated. This is what happened to Pharaoh. And it makes sense. Since Pharaoh abused his freedom to choose, he didn’t deserve to keep it any more.
What is scary about this Rambam, however, is that he doesn’t say that this is only something that can happen to someone as evil as Pharaoh. It can happen to anyone. The very beginning of Mesillas Yesharim in the 2nd chapter talks about how important it is for a person to be careful and aware of every action he does. Without knowing it a person can be doing many aveiros. And as the Mishna in Pirkei Avos says in chapter 4, “sin drags sin.” Even sinning just once trains us and makes us more able to sin again. A person can become addicted, chas v’shalom, to awful behaviors, being completely oblivious to how entrenched he has become. And as the Rambam says, at a certain point you can lose the ability that makes us human – our choice. The Rabbeinu Bachaye in the beginning of Parshas Kedoshim says that a person is made up of two sides. If a person focuses on holiness and constantly improves himself, he can reach the level of an angel. However, if a person devotes himself to gratifying his desires and giving into his lusts he can become an animal. We humans have a potential for both. So we’d better be careful.
There’s a Gemara in Sukka 53 that recounts how the wicked will be beating themselves up when it comes time to slaughter the yetzer hara in the days of Moshiach. They will moan, “How could we not conquer this little hair?” It can be understood from the words of Rav Yisrael Salanter’s explanation of the gemara in Or Yisrael Ma’amar 8 that what’s especially painful for the wicked is that they didn’t attack the yetzer hara from the onset when it still wasn’t powerful. Once the “little hair” grew, there came a point when they didn’t stand a chance. However, the gemara says that to the righteous, the yetzer hara will appear to be “a great mountain.” From the beginning, the righteous look at the same yetzer hara as a big problem that has to be dealt with. They make big fences and work hard to protect themselves. This is why they succeed in life and conquer the yetzer hara. If we want to win, this Gemara shows us how serious we have to be as soon as the problem starts.
However, one who is addicted to various behaviors shouldn’t give up completely. Sometimes, when a situation drags out and the yetzer hara seems to be unconquerable, the truth is that Hashem is just waiting to see if the person will do a real tshuva. The Sforno argues with the Rambam and says it’s not true that Pharaoh lost his free will. Rather, “the hardening of heart” that the Torah speaks of, is that G-d made Pharaoh’s heart capable of tolerating the plagues. While a normal person would have been shocked and terrified, immediately pleading for mercy, Pharaoh was given a superhuman ability to act relatively indifferent to the tumult around him. G-d didn’t want Pharaoh to send out the Jews only because he couldn’t stand the pressure. He wanted Pharaoh to do a real tshuva and send out the Jews only because it was the right thing to do. With a “hardened heart” Pharaoh had a real choice whether or not to change himself and decide to listen to G-d. We can apply this to ourselves as well. Sometimes when we try to improve ourselves and discover that it’s more difficult than we thought, and sometimes even new problems arise in our struggle, we can feel despair. Has G-d abandoned us to the yetzer hara? But according to the Sforno, it could be that when we find it more difficult to do the right thing, Hashem hasn’t abandoned us at all. Instead, the stakes are raised so that we can have the ultimate comeback and do an incredibly deep tshuva.
The Gemara in Avoda Zara 17 tells the story of Elazar ben Dordaya, a man who committed incredible aveiros. The last harlot he was with told him he was too far gone to do tshuva. Distraught to no end, Elazar curled up in a ball, crying and pleading in repentance so intense, he died from it. A voice from heaven then cried out that he was admitted into the World to Come. Instead of giving up, Elazar accomplished the real tshuva G-d wanted him to do. We should all follow in his footsteps in never giving up.
The Rebbe of Shomer Emunim writes of himself that when he was young he didn’t have any taste for learning. He tried, but it was hard for him to concentrate and he found it very boring. Nobody could help him with it and he didn’t know what to do. One day he went to cry by the grave of a tzaddik and had an incredibly spiritual experience. From then on, he decided, he would learn with great intensity whether he enjoyed it or not. So, he got home and picked up a book at random. It turned out to be the Rosh on Maseches Mikvaos. He started learning it and he recounts how every word tasted like death. But he got through the day and persevered. From that day on, the Rebbe said that he suddenly felt a rush of inspiration and enjoys everything he learns. And not only that, his concentration is so strong that nothing can distract him. We can see here clearly that G-d doesn’t abandon us when things get tough. Sometimes a little more effort is needed to bring out what G-d really wants from us.
From both the Rambam and the Sforno we should learn to always fight in this great battle called life. If we find ourselves beginning to sin, we should be aware of the danger of losing our free will and immediately get to work getting rid of the problem. And as for the problems we may currently find ourselves with, and feel hopeless against, we should remember the Sforno’s words that even for Pharaoh it wasn’t too late. G-d could really just be waiting for us to make a real change.
May we all be zoche to do the tshuva Hashem wants us to do!!!