בס”ד
Parshas Vayeitzei
This week’s parasha is largely concerned with Yakov Avinu’s marriage to Rachel and the events that surround it. As the parasha unfolds, Yakov is forced by Lavan’s duplicity to develop simonim with which he will be able to identify Rachel. In order to save her sister Leah from embarrassment, Rachel provided her these special signs so that Leah could marry Yakov instead. This represented an incredibly magnanimous act of self-sacrifice and kindness on the part of Rachel, who was willing to give up her marriage to Yakov to save her sister from any potential shame.
While Rachel’s actions may be described as generosity on an unprecedented scale, the Gemara in Megilla 13b offers surprising praise for her. Specifically, the Gemara describes Rachel’s actions as an expression of tznius so exemplary that it served as the basis upon which she merited to give birth to Binyomin.
Tznius seems to be at best enigmatic praise for Rachel’s selfless act, which seems more like tremendous chesed or unbelievable mesirus. In fact, to describe Rachel’s act as tznius seems to defy our working definition of the word, which we think of as a necessary form of modesty. Understanding why the Gemara describes Rachel’s act as an expression of tznius reveals a beautiful chidush about the true essence of this lofty mida.
In reality, the Gemara’s praise of Rachel’s actions exposes the ikar mida of tznius, which at its root involves avoiding honor in order to attribute all kavod to Hashem. While Rachel could have kept the simonim to herself, so that she could enjoy her place as the wife with whom Yakov would build a great nation, she removed herself from the picture! For Rachel, as long as G-d’s will was being done and Klal Yisroel was being built, Rachel was satisfied. If Leah assumed the prized role of matriarch of the Jewish people, that mattered little to Rachel.
This, the Gemara teaches us, is the truest expression of tznius. In fact, our understanding of tznius as the imperative to be modest physically is actually an outgrowth of the mida that Rachel demonstrates in this parsha. Since seeking attention based on physical appearance runs contrary to any effort to direct attention to Hashem, it must be avoided. Tznius’ goal is to eliminate the possibility that attention might be directed anywhere except Hashem.
The Gemara in Makos 24a echoes this message, quoting the verse in the Navi that advises us to “go discreetly (tzenua) with your G-d.” (Michah 6:8) According to the Gemara, the verse means that even when we are performing important commandments such as hotza’as hames and hachnasas kalah, we must not misuse the Torah by seeking kavod for ourselves through public mitzvos. These are times when we may be tempted to place the focus on our own
tzidkus, instead of directing attention where it belongs: the Source of the commandants, Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu. When a person performs these mitzvos without showcasing himself, he walks with Hashem modestly.
Rabbeinu Yonah (Shaarei T’shuva 1:25) provides tremendous insight and conveys the mussar that can be derived from the pasuk in Michah. He explains that the verse instructs us that the ikar way of serving Hashem is with tznius. Performing mitzvos purely for the purpose of Hashem’s will and avoiding inserting oneself into the process is the only way to really connect and to truly cling to Hashem. When you remove yourself from the picture, and strive only to do G-d’s will, then you can really reach Him.
There is a beautiful story told about Rav Shach zt”L and an address he delivered in Bnei Brak long before there were such large numbers of avreichim learning in Kollel. Rav Shach instructed these pioneers of the modern Torah world at length regarding the importance of their wives’ carefulness in tznius. When one of the avreichim asked how to handle a spouse interested in fashionable clothes that sacrifice modesty for style, the Rav had very clear advice.
He told the man to cultivate a truly a modest approach to his life, through the way he ran his home and his own actions. Through his deeds and dedication to a tzenua life, the man’s wife would embrace tznius on all levels. Since in the end every woman seeks to do her husband’s will, a husband’s tznius approach to life will influence his wife to express this mida as well.
It seems almost unnecessary to state but we now know that we had in our midst a master of tznius in Gershon Binyomin ben Eliezer z”L. Gershon was so tzenua in his chesed and mitzvos, most of us were completely unaware he was performing them. He sought no kavod for himself, ensuring that the spotlight was never on him. He always sought to make Hashem the sole focus.
May we try to emulate Gershon’s ways and may we be zocheh to embrace a truly tzenua approach to our avodas Hashem that brings us ever closer each day!