פרשת אחרי מות – קדושים
In this week’s Parsha, there are a great deal of the Torah’s commandments which are discussed with some detail. One such commandment which I would like to expound upon is the commandment to judge our peers favorably. The Torah teaches us, together with the explanation of the Talmud, that if we are ever in a situation in which we observe a fellow Jew (who is not known to be unequivocally wicked) doing something which is questionable, we have a responsibility to determine in our minds a plausible scenario in which we can vindicate our friend in our minds. The Gemorah in Shabbos (127b) goes so far as to say that even if the circumstances lean strongly toward the conclusion that the individual in front of us had very questionable motives, we are required by Torah law to do the best we can to exonerate them, even if only for our own view of that person. The Gemorah illustrates this with three true stories. There was once a man from the upper Galilee who was so poor, he sold himself as a slave to a wealthy man from Southern Israel. One Erev Yom Kipur, after he had worked for him for three years, the slave demanded his wages so that he may travel home and feed his family. The Galilee man responded that he had no money available. So the slave offered to accept his wages in produce, or livestock, or any other form. To each of these offers, the Galilean apologized and said that he did not possess any of these things. The slave had no choice but to return to his home in the South empty handed. Needless to say his family was a bit unpleasantly surprised to see that their “bread winner” who had been gone for three years come home penniless, but the slave said nothing negative about his master. A couple weeks later, during the Succos holiday, the master came to the slave with donkey laden with all the treats of Israel and asked the slave, “What did you think of me when I told you I couldn’t pay your wages in any form even though you knew I was wealthy?” The slave responded by coming up with four outlandish possibilities to justify his master’s behavior. The Galilean’s eyes went wide and he remarked, “Hashem is my witness that the bizarre scenario you painted is exactly what happened, and just as you judged me favorably, so should Hashem judge you favorably.” The Gemorah goes on to give two other extreme examples of complimentary judgment. The Gemorah tells us about two different Tannaim who locked themselves in a room on two separate occasions with very attractive young women, and went the next morning before the prayer services to immerse themselves in the Mikveh. When they asked their students if they had thought ill of them, the students responded by again, coming up with extremely peculiar possibilities to defend their holy mentors, which indeed proved to be exactly what happened in reality.
Jumping to conclusions is a natural process for human beings, and it would seem to require great effort to break this habit. However, since the Torah demands it of us, we at least know that it is possible. What is the secret? R’ Chaim Freidlander, used to quote an excerpt from the Orchos Tzadikim, which may shed some light on this elusive goal. The Orchos Tzadikim, in the second chapter, explains that surprisingly, all unfavorable judgments come from arrogance. If we can manage to foster a sense of humility, we will inevitably find ourselves passing kinder verdicts on our fellow man. He explains that this works for two reasons. Firstly, if a person feels that he is inherently greater then the people around him, he will be on the constant lookout for their faults in order to maintain his delusions of grandeur. His need for power and self aggrandizement will be insatiable, and hence he will be continually on the prowl for any opportunity to nourish that need. A person who is humble, on the other hand, has no need to put other people down in order to feel good about himself, and quite the contrary, will do whatever he can to see everybody around him in a good light and build them up to the best of his ability.
The second mechanism that humility affects comes from a true understanding of what humility really is. True modesty does not necessitate minimizing or concealing one’s talents or achievements, but rather is merely recognizing them for what they in fact are – gifts from Hashem. Knowing that you are the most beautiful or smartest person in the world does not per se make you an arrogant person, but thinking that you actually did something for those gifts is absurd. Arrogance truly is a form of insanity. Did you construct your own face or build your own brain? This simple yet elegant understanding is an extremely powerful tool in allowing a person to judge others favorably. When a person is keenly aware that every single accomplishment in his life is owed solely to Hashem, he will be a lot less quick to critique those around him for their shortcomings because he will know that were it not for Hashem’s abundance, he would be in the same situation as the person he sees failing in front of him.
I would like to point out that this commandment to judge our peers favorably is not merely an isolated instruction in the laws of how to treat our friends, but rather is the core of every single law concerning Jewish social relations. Let us test this theory. There is a commandment not to speak negatively about other Jews. If we have managed to foster a positive impression of the people around us, we won’t have many detrimental things to say about them. The Torah instructs us to never take revenge against someone who has harmed us. This commandment seems to require superhuman strength. But if we have taken the time out to consciously promote an optimistic opinion of why the person acted the way he did, we probably will not be so quick to exact vengeance upon the perpetrator. This principle is alluded to by the Torah itself. The Torah introduces a great deal of the laws concerning intrapersonal relationships with the commandment to judges others favorably seeming to buttress the idea that it is the key to many others.
There is one caveat I feel which is critical in the chapter of judging others positively. It has to be real. It is not sufficient to pay mere mental verbiage toward the person who seems to have transgressed, but not really feel it from the inside. This is indicated from Onkelos’s commentary. The verse says “בצדק תשפוט” – “Judge your friend with righteousness.” But Onkelos translates the word “righteousness” as truth. “Judge your friend with truth.” In other words, Onkelos is explaining that the scenario which we generate to judge our friend favorably, must be real enough in our minds such that we consider it to be true. With this explanation, we can easily comprehend why the Torah relaxes the need to judge favorably in the case of a wicked person. There is no way that a person will be sincere if he tries to judge somebody who is habitually bad favorably. If our favorable judgment is insincere, we will not gain all the wonderful benefits that were mentioned in the previous paragraph.
I would just like to conclude by shedding some light on the Gemorah in Shabbos which we opened with. In the three cases mentioned in the Gemorah, the Rabbis gave the blessing, “Just as you judged me favorably, Hashem should judge you favorably”. The points out that if Hashem were to judge us based solely on our actions, who amongst us would come out ahead? But if we are diligent in keeping this essential commandment, then Hashem, who deals with us measure for measure, will undoubtedly be more understanding and lenient in His judgment of us.
May we all merit to foster a positive view of every Jew we meet!