פרשת בלק
This week’s Parsha tells us about how Bilam attempted to curse the Jewish people and obliterate them from existence, only to find that instead of uttering his words of destruction, tremendous blessings of bounty escaped his mouth. The Gemorah comments on what a kindness Hashem performed for us that day, for were He to have gotten angry with us on those days, like He usually does for one moment in the day, every single Jew would have perished from Bilam’s deadly curses.
However, there is an interesting verse in Mishlei which is quoted by the Midrash in Devarim which seems to downplay Bilam’s blessings, and in general, receiving praise from another human being. The verse says, “One who rebukes will find favor, and one who praises with a smooth tongue will cause destruction”. The Midrash explains that “One who rebukes” is referring to Moshe Rabenu, who constantly rebuked the Jewish people and therefore generated in them the desire to perform on a higher level; and was therefore praised, but “The one who praises with a smooth tongue” is referring to Bilam, who we find that after his eloquent blessings, the Jews had a tragic downfall. I would like to explain why it is that according to this Midrash, when people are praised, instead of performing on a higher level, they seem to fall and on the contrary, when people are rebuked, they tend to improve in their service of Hashem.
R’ Chaim Kamil Z”L used to explain that albeit every human being craves and actually requires praise, there is a danger during that praise that a person can become arrogant or feel that perhaps he has already reached the optimum level and has no need to continue further. This is why although Moshe was a very encouraging leader, he always made sure to give the Jewish people a dose of reality whenever he would encourage them in order to ensure that they would always maintain the desire to move forward and grow.
There is a Gemorah in Erachin (16) which says, “R’ Yochanan Ben Nuri used to say, the Heavens and earth can testify about me that R’ Akiva got many good tongue lashings from me, and this made him love me even more”. R’ Yochanan is teaching us in this Gemorah that it is considered a very praiseworthy level for one to reach when he becomes happy with another person’s rebuke and that R’ Akiva was such a person who actually loved R’ Yochanan more for having rebuked him.
How indeed does a person reach the level in which he can appreciate another person’s reprimand? Nobody likes hearing their own faults. It makes us feel vulnerable and weak. Similarly, nobody likes being told what to do. The Gemorah in Eruchin that we quoted continues to say, “I would be amazed if anyone in this generation can actually accept reproach. If a person tells another person that he has a splinter in his forehead, he will commonly respond that the other guy has a beam coming out of his head!” (Meaning we often respond to rebuke in a most hostile way). Now if in the Gemorah’s times there was nary a human being on such a level, how much more so in our times. Yet we see that we must strive for this level to the best of our ability. How can we achieve such a lofty status?
Perhaps we could employ the advice of King Solomon on this sensitive matter. The verse in Mishlei (6:23) says, “The way of life is to receive rebuke”. This verse means to say that a person has to make rebuke a daily part of his life. Meaning to say that if a person accustoms himself to constantly giving himself admonishment, it won’t be as difficult to receive it from other people. Similarly the GR”A used to explain on another verse in Mishlei – “One should never cease from improving on himself” – that one must always be doing whatever he can to improve his character traits by studying intently the precious books that were bequeathed to us by the giants in Mussar such as R’ Yisroel Salanter and the Ramchal, and cannot even afford to let one day pass without this vital toil.
I would just like to conclude with the words of R’ Hanoch Leibowitz. R’ Hanoch used to quote the Midrash “Shachar Tov” which says that Avigayil asked King David not to shed the innocent blood of Naval. The Midrash explains that Avigayil was telling David that since nobody could really rebuke him, even if he were objectively incorrect in killing Naval, due to him being the king, therefore it was incumbent upon him to rebuke himself and thereby ensure that he would act correctly. Many of us are in the same boat as King David, but not for the same reason. David couldn’t receive Musar because he was the king. We can’t take it just because we can’t take it. Therefore Avigayil’s advice is very pertinent to us. We must constantly be checking ourselves out, and seeking to improve our actions so that we will ensure the constant growth that is incumbent upon us as Jews.
May Hashem bless us to reach the level in which we are constantly looking to develop in our service of Him!