Balak

In this week’s parsha we are introduced to a personality referred to in Torah shebe’al peh as “Bilaam Harasha” — Bilaam the evil one. Reading this parsha, this title seems self-explanatory, as this was a man who had reached a level of prophecy and yet sought to use it to bring a curse upon Klal Yisrael. Closer scrutiny of the verses, however, opens up a few questions.

It is clear that Bilaam had a personal desire to curse the Jewish People. However, when approached by foreign dignitaries asking him to put this plan into action, he answers quite piously that there is nothing he can do on his own, rather whatever Hashem will tell him is what he will say. And try as he did, at every chance that he thought he could utter a curse, Bilaam did not withhold the blessing that Hashem told him to say. Meaning, Bilaam’s mouth did not move uncontrollably as he declared “mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov.” Rather, he himself declared these words in perfect accord with what he had said to Balak’s emissaries from the outset. Even though he may have wanted to do something bad, none of his actions were in violation of what Hashem told him.

Secondly, although Hashem initially told Bilaam not to go along with the dignitaries of Moav, He later gave Bilaam permission to go. Why then was Hashem’s anger aroused against Bilaam for going along with them? Hadn’t He given Bilaam permission?

In short, wicked intentions aside, what evil deed was Bilaam ever guilty of?

Rav Elchanan Wasserman (Kuntrass Divrei Sofrim 1:25) addresses this point and explains that, remarkably, Bilaam in fact did nothing against Hashem. On the contrary, whatever Hashem told him to say he declared with reverence. So why is Bilaam called a “rasha?” Because he knew full well what Hashem wanted, and yet he sought diligently a way to make his wicked scheme fit into Hashem’s will. This was Bilaam’s wicked deed.

In other words, it is not enough simply to do what Hashem says, but rather we must do what Hashem wants. When a person justifies his actions by claiming he is not violating the strict letter of the law, while fully aware that it is a far cry from what Hashem wants from him — such a person is a rasha.

Chazal delve into this idea in Pirkei Avos (2:4): “Do His will as if it were your own, so that He will do His will as if it were yours. Nullify your own will before His so that He will nullify the will of others before you.”

In fulfilling Hashem’s will, we should reflect on the matter properly until we view it as our personal project, imbuing our mitvzos with all of our energy, simcha and fervor. Our sense should be that “I’m doing my thing, with my personal stamp and sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.”

When it comes to having to say no to certain things that we may want to do (or eat, read, say, etc.) but which Hashem does not want us to do, “annul your will.” As Chazal state: Don’t say “I don’t eat pork because it’s disgusting,” rather say: “even though pork must surely be delicious, I don’t eat it because Hashem commanded me not to” (Toras Kohanim, end of Kedoshim). In other words, acknowledge that you might have this taava in you, and then annul this taava by acknowledging that you have within you a still greater will to do what Hashem wants.

The Slonimer Rebbe notes that a way to reach the level taught in this Mishna, of annulling our will to that of Hashem’s, is to have in mind that “whatever I do should cause Hashem nachas ruach.“

The Chozeh of Lublin related that once he found himself faced with a great nisayon. There was something he wanted very much to do and though he sensed that it was improper, he nevertheless could see nothing forbidden about it. What kept him from acting according to what seemed to him to fall safely within the letter of the law? The following calculation: He thought to himself: “I want all of my actions to cause Hashem nachas ruach. If I do this, whatnachas ruach will Hashem have from it?” He realized that this deed would cause Hashem nonachas ruach, and decided not to do it. Later on, he realized that such a deed may not have been permitted to begin with.

It is said that when Rav Shach was learning as a bachur in the Yeshiva of Slutzk, the local goyim used to watch as he ran every morning to the beis medrash where, the moment he arrived, he hurriedly opened up a Gemara and began learning. The goyim thought he was crazy and would make jokes about him, mimicking his frantic run to shul.

Of note is that Rav Shach continued this practice until reaching advanced old age. A doctor once asked him why he insisted on running to shul every morning. “At your age, why not walk? You’ll still make it to the beis medrash,” he asked.

“No,” answered Rav Shach. “I have to use all of my energy, simcha and fervor for avodas Hashem, and I’m no kid any more — how much time do I have left to accomplish this?”

May we be zocheh to make Hashem’s will our own and give Him nachas ruach!