פרשת בהעלותך
This week’s parsha contains a unique couple of verses in the middle of the Parsha which are set aside from the rest of the Parsha. There are three verses which are introduced and concluded with two backwards “Nunim” and discuss the travels of the Jewish people with the Holy Ark. Rashi explains, based on the Gemorah in Shabbos (116), that the reason for this unique “two Nun bracket system” was to separate the two difficult chapters that are recorded in this week’s Parsha – namely, the way in which the Jews departed from Har Sinai, and the Jews’ complaining about the lack of food in the desert. The Torah didn’t want these two disgraceful events to be recorded together, so it imported the discussion about the Jews’ travels which doesn’t belong here at all in order to give a small interlude between them.
I would like to discuss the significance of these two sins that we mentioned. While the second sin of the Jews complaining about the lack of meat in the desert is clearly recorded in the Torah, and is certainly a shameful act, where do we find any mention of the first sin – namely, the Jews running away from Har Sinai, and what sin exactly was committed? The famous answer which is brought by Tosafos is that the Jews fleeing from Har Sinai like school children at the sound of the bell, showed their disdain for the Torah and displayed their fundamentally flawed attitude toward studying Torah which should be viewed as a privilege and an honor. But Rashi explains that their departure from Har Sinai was referred to as sinful because it was the beginning of the complaint which they were about to lodge against Hashem about the lack of meat in the desert. If so, Rashi is difficult. In what way is the first sin different from the second sin and why did the Torah need to separate them?
I once heard a beautiful explanation to resolve this point. Rashi is teaching us that after the Jews had reached such a lofty place in which they were miraculously taken out of Egypt, the sea was split for them, and they received their sustenance in a most supernatural way, they were on a constant spiral of upward spiritual growth. To begin to go looking for food, and to make their gastronomical needs the center of their concern was a tremendous downfall for them. The second sin was that they actually complained about their situation and showed a tremendous lack of gratefulness. But the first sin was the very fact that they discontinued the momentum that they had achieved by stopping and “wondering what was for dinner”. This excessive focus on the physical put a halt to the positive forward movement that they were in the middle of and was considered a very grave sin by Hashem.
R’ Chaim Kamil, the great Rosh Yeshiva, used to ask how it was that the Jews who had reached such lofty plains, and had literally spoken to God face to face so to speak, could have reached the point where they were able to complain to Him about their lack of adequate meat. It seems so petty for the people who truly understood what God was! R’ Chaim used to explain a Rashi in this week’s Parsha which is along a similar vein to our explanation. Rashi on the verse says “Beware, because you have made Hashem disgusted in your midst” explains, that the higher a person is, the further they can fall. Because Hashem was “in the midst” of the Jewish people, and they had reached such a elevated state, by virtue of the Jews not guarding that spiritual stature which they had achieved, they were capable of falling into a much deeper abyss. R’ Chaim used to derive from this Rashi that if a Jew is not careful to guard the level which he has achieved, there is a very real and present danger that he will fall drastically and must do everything in his power to prevent this from happening.
How does one do this? In order to answer this question, perhaps we could invoke the moving words of the Vilna Gaon on the verse in Mishlei, (15:24). “The ways of life are elevated to the wise one, in order that he does not fall downward”. The Gaon explained that Shlomo Hamelech is teaching us that the trick to never fall downward, is to constantly be reaching upward. By a person never just sitting back on his laurels, or feeling content with the spiritual level that he has achieved thus far, and by his always fostering a great desire to continue growing, even though that desire may never be brought into fruition, he will ensure the safety of the spiritual investments he has already made. But the minute that a person reaches the point in which he feels comfortable or proud of the achievements he has made, and loses his great desire to continue advancing himself, that person is in great peril of losing everything he has begot with all his arduous toil.
R’ Tzadok Hakohen used to constantly quote the Zohar (Vol. III €61) which says that when a person has a sincere desire to grow, there is nothing on this earth which pleases Hashem more. But in order to do this, it is clear that a person must leave room in his heart for these spiritual desires by clearing away the physical ones which obviously detract from his spiritual pursuits. R’ Tzadok explained this with the Gemorah in Taanis, (4a) which says that a person must learn with great fire and excitement. The reason for this is that when a person learns this way, the Torah becomes part of him, and he part of It. Only by learning with great enthusiasm will the Torah really become part of a person, and he will remember it forever. We find very often that even people with poor memory abilities, remember things which are very important to them or could save their lives. Similarly, the Gemorah said that a person should learn with fire. R’ Tzaddok explained that just a pot which is cooked, Halachically is considered to have absorbed the food in its walls, when a person learns Torah with fire, the Torah will become locked into his psyche forever.
I would just like to conclude with a few words about my father, whose Yartzeit was this past Friday. My father personified this attribute of someone who was constantly moving forward. Even at the end of his life, he had detailed accounts of which attributes he needed to perfect, and techniques that he planned on implementing to improve his learning. At each stage of his life, he contemplated how he could grow the most and made sure to carry out his plans.
May we all merit to always strive to perfect our service of God!