“פרשת משפטים וענייני “נושא בעול
There is an esoteric verse at the end of this week’s Parsha which says, “And the God of Israel appeared to Moshe, Aharon, and the 70 elders, and there was a sapphire brick underneath His feet, and it was as untainted as the Heavens themselves.” Rashi explains that Hashem was trying to demonstrate two points with this vision. The stone underneath His feet was to represent that He would always remember how hard the Jews worked in Egypt laying the bricks and performing backbreaking labor, and the purity of the stone was to demonstrate Hashem’s indescribable delight at the fact that the Jews were ultimately redeemed from Egypt and were now free. Parenthetically, R’ Zalman Sorotzkin asks what the context of this verse is and why it is brought here specifically after the revelation at Sinai? He explains that since the Jews had just finished receiving the Torah, which was the purpose for the Exodus, and they had just offered up certain sacrifices thanking Hashem for all that had transpired, Hashem felt it appropriate to respond by revealing His “take” on all that had happened, and indicating how pleased He was with the way events turned out.
However, R’ Yerucham Levovitz asks an interesting philosophical question on this Chazal. I can understand why a person would use icons to remind himself of something important, but to Hashem, whose memory is obviously perfect, this whole brick idea seems somewhat contrived. R’ Yerucham explains that Hashem was trying to teach us the importance of the attribute of empathy, and how elusive it truly is. While for many other commandments in the Torah, it may be sufficient to simply remember them, when it comes to the trait of empathy, we need physical stimuli in order to properly develop it, because by definition, we are always stuck in our own heads. So Hashem placed a brick at His feet, so to speak, in order to teach us how to properly expand our feelings to those around us. Similarly, the verse concerning Moshe Rabenu says, “And he went out and observed the Jews’ suffering.” Rashi comments that he actively focused his mind and his heart on what they were going through, and the Midrash adds that he physically tried to help each and every one of them. Obviously this futile attempt was not because Moshe actually thought he could somehow lighten the burden of two million workers, but rather it was in order to physically feel what they were enduring as opposed to merely thinking about it and sighing in sympathy. R’ Lazer Finkel, the Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir in Europe, came into the Beis Midrash one day, and was devastated to learn that the Yeshiva did not have sufficient funds to feed the boys for a period, and they were actually hungry. R’ Lazer quickly ran home and brought his expensive fur coat, which was given to him as a wedding gift many years earlier. They asked him, “Rebbe, how could you give up your coat when it’s so cold outside?” He explained, “My dear students, if the boys are hungry, even with a coat, I’ll be freezing. And if the boys are full, I’ll remain warm even without my coat!”
I would like to add that in order to properly fulfill this mandate of the Torah to achieve true empathy, we see from the way that Hashem acted that it is not satisfactory to only feel for the person while they are in the height of their pain, but to continue feeling for them even when their pain has diminished. We find that Hashem continues feeling for the Jews’ suffering in Egypt, even millennia after the Jews themselves have forgotten what Egypt looked like. Even in the year 2011, Hashem still has that same sapphire brick underneath His throne as a constant reminder to what we went through. The Sabba from Kelm was known to be a very sick man. He spent his entire adult life in and out of hospitals and consulting with doctors, and suffered more than most of us can imagine. Like any chronically ill patient, his health would wax and wane with no warning, and when the Sabba was in pain, the entire Yeshiva was in pain. During one of the Sabba’s remission periods, one of the boys approached the Sabba and expressed his genuine relief and pleasure to hear that the Sabba was feeling a little better. The Sabba, who was a tremendous Mussar giant, gently scolded the boy by saying that while he appreciated his sentiments, the boy didn’t understand what it meant to share in another human being’s burden. The Saba explained to him that most people hear about someone who is suffering, and their emotions get aroused and they feel bad for the guy. But as soon as he seems to be feeling a little better, they quickly forget about him and cease their worrying. But true empathy means feeling what the other person is feeling. If the sickness is still there, but the pain has lessened, the sick person lives in constant fear that the pain could flare up again. And even when the pain has diminished, he lives knowing that the underlying condition is still present. A person who truly shares in his friend’s burden, will feel all the pains and aches that his friend is going through, and even the worries about his future will be shared.
Why do Chazal place such emphasis on this trait of sharing other people’s burdens? At the end of the day, the person still has the same amount of pain. All the empathy in the world cannot actually affect anything in the physical world, can it? R’ Yerucham explains that there are two reasons for the enormous weight the Torah puts on this attribute. First, by caring for another human being, one evolves out of the selfish head space in which he was born, and begins to truly care about other people. Almost every Mitzvah in the Torah is dependant on that ability. And second, by empathizing with other people, we actually can help them both physically and emotionally. The Gemorah says that when we visit the sick, we remove 1/60th of their illness. But the Gemorah adds that this is only true if the person we are visiting is our same age. R’ Yerucham explains that the age is not meant to be literal, but is meant to indicate somebody who we can relate to, and is therefore able to take comfort in our visit because he truly feels like the visitor can commiserate with his ordeal. We thus find that true empathy can physically heal another human being to a certain degree. Obviously, the same is true for those that can successfully empathize with individuals who are emotionally unwell.
R’ Yerucham concludes by saying that though we commonly think of empathy in terms of commiserating with other people’s tragedies, but interestingly enough, we learn from Hashem’s actions in saving the sapphire brick and admiring its beauty, that another aspect of empathy is sharing in other people’s successes and feeling the joy that they are going through together with them. Perhaps this is even more challenging because while we naturally feel sorry for other people in pain, there is frequently a part of us which wants to see our peers fall on their faces so that we can feel more successful. This is why Chazal placed such emphasis on sharing in the merriment of a bride and groom and feeling genuine happiness together with them, thereby increasing their level of bliss. They really wanted us to know what it is like to feel someone else’s pleasure, and truly be happy for them and with them. I would just like to conclude with something that was said by The Chazon Ish. He once commented to his students that his greatest pleasure in life was when he was able to give joy to other human beings, or see them succeeding, and his greatest disappointment in life was when he caused any measure of discomfort, even miniscule, to any other Jew. He said that many people remove their glasses when they walk down the street so as to avoid viewing anything inappropriate, but he went out of his way to always wear his glasses in the street. His rationale was that in case anyone would greet him, and he wouldn’t notice them and be able to return their salutation, this may cause them some small level of anguish, he therefore made sure his eyesight was ideal so as to avoid such a situation.
May we all merit to properly develop this essential and indispensable trait of empathy!