How to do Teshuva Shleimah (Complete Repentance)
Based entirely on the Sefer Sharei Teshuva by Rabbeinu Yonah from the new English Commentary by Rav Asher Baruch Wegbreit
- Regret what you’ve done to yourself
– see the section Teshuva from the body below - Abandoning the sin
– Accepting not to sin again in future
– Identifying the path/roots that led to the sin - Feel anguish over how you acted towards G-d
– see the section Teshuva from the soul below - Take action to express your pain
– fasting (deprive yourself of some food you enjoy)
– crying and lamenting for your sins - Worry and fear about punishment that will come for sins
– think about troubles and problems that you and others experience and recognize that current sinful behavior may bring troubles (G_d Forbid) - Be embarrassed about what you’ve done
– act as if you are speaking to a person who caught you during the act when doing Vidui (confession)
– Be ashamed in light of the fact that Hashem magnanimously forgive your violations of His Will - Humbling Oneself before G-d
– Think of how much you owe Hashem and take no credit for the good things you do
– Make a declaration of how great our obligation to Hashem is and declare that Hashem deserves the credit for our success not us
—> Maybe repeat this a few times
Humbling oneself before others
– Avoid letting others upset you today
– Avoid letting things in the past upset you – let go, after all what are you holding on to? - Humbling oneself in deed
– Speak softly
– lowering one’s eyes
– experience some discomfort akin to sackcloth - Breaking physical desires
– Decide before you eat what you’re not going to take
– Have a least a little bit less then you want when eating and drinking - Doing Mitzvas that are the diametric opposite of Averas done
– e.g. Learn Torah on the day with the intention of atoning for Loshon Hara and inappropriate thoughts - Searching one’s ways
– Read Vidui lists and books enumerating the Mitzvos and scroll through a typical day (i.e. Davening, learning, interactions with others) - Investigating the magnitude of punishments for sins one committed
– Read 3rd Gate of Repentance or ask a rabbi - Regarding lesser transgressions as severe
– After Davening take time to think of “smaller Averas” committed and realize they are a stepping stone to worse and consider the greatness of the One who told us not to do them - Vidui
– Have Kavannah when saying we and our predecessors sinned - Request Mercy for atonement rather than punishment for our sins
– Say this with Kavvanah in the bedtime Krias Shema - Try to make major repairs with damage done with people
– Express extreme regret to those we’ve hurt and extreme appreciation for what they’ve done for us, do this with family and friends - Proactively do Chesed and learn Torah thoroughly
– Compliment people today and do some thorough high-quality learning with the goal of understanding what the Gemara is really saying (search for Emes) even if for a brief amount of time - Having one’s sins continuously in the backdrop of one’s consciousness
– Keep this in mind after davening and when walking back and forth to Yeshiva - Forsaking sins when presented the same opportunity
– R’ Yonah teaches that fervently learning Mussar as a means to not repeat sin again can achieve the same result (as forsaking sins in the future)
– Make a Mussar seder even for 5 minutes a day with this intention in mind - Help others do Teshuva
– Share strategies that have worked for you with others
Teshuva Coming from the Body
REGRET: The Seven Inspirations for a Deep Tshuva, Simplified
Ask yourself the following:
- How could I have done this to my body? To set myself up for such physical suffering?
– Here we acknowledge that our sins bring in their wake suffering which is not occurring by chance - How could I have been so cruel to my soul?
– The soul detests physical indulgence and sin, and is only happy with Torah and Mitzvos - How could I have made such a poor trade-off?
– Grabbed some temporary sweetness at the expense of endless pleasure and closeness to G-d? Do the math - How could I have acted like an animal?
– How does it feel to be called a pig? An animal is not guided by reason and neither are we when we sin - Do you realize who you are?
– An image of G_d
What you have?
– A lofty soul
And what it’s for?
– To serve the King of kings
Our sins are a serious misuse of these gifts and privileges - When I’ve sinned I’ve dropped two levels down
– I have less consciousness of G-d than an animal has of its master - How could I have forgotten the day of my death?
– This humbling realization should fill our “body” with regret.
Teshuva Coming from the Soul
A loftier Form of Regret: Groaning over How We’ve Acted Towards G-d
How to access the feelings of your soul:
Imagine something that breaks your heart or makes you groan in agony (migraine headaches). Then transfer these feelings.
Exclaim to Hashem with your heart:
How could I have disrespected the One who:
- Brought me from non-existence to existence
- Dealt so kindly with me
- Has supported me for every moment of my life
- Protected me in each and every second
The more deeply we appreciate the above gifts the more soul-felt will be our regret towards the One to Whom we have sinned