Fulfilling the Will of Hashem
By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)
In Parashas Balak, the Torah tells of a personality referred to in the oral tradition as “Bilam HaRasha,” or Bilam the evil one. The title is self-explanatory. This man reached a level of prophecy yet sought to use it to curse the Jews. However, closer scrutiny of the verses raise a few questions:
It is clear that Bilam had a personal desire to curse the Jewish people. However, when foreign dignitaries asked him to do it, he answered that there was nothing he could do on his own. He would only be able to say whatever Hashem willed him to. This is indeed what happened—at every opportunity that he tried to curse the Jews, Bilam instead said the blessing that Hashem told him to say. Bilam’s mouth did not move against his will when he declared (Bamidbar 24:5), “How great are your tents, Yaakov!” Rather, he chose to obey Hashem’s will, in accordance with his warning to Balak’s emissaries at the outset.
Moreover, though Hashem initially told Bilam not to go with the dignitaries, He later gave Bilam permission. Why was Hashem’s anger aroused against Bilam when he went? Hadn’t He given Bilam permission?
Rav Elchanan Wasserman (Kuntres Divrei Sofrim 1:25) addresses this point. He explains that Bilam did not, in fact, do anything against Hashem. On the contrary, he declared everything Hashem told him to say with great reverence. Bilam is called a rasha because he knew what Hashem’s will was, yet he still sought a way to fulfill his wicked scheme. In other words, Bilam was wicked for trying to do something that was not the will of Hashem, simply because Hashem had not commanded him not to.
It is not enough to do what Hashem says. We must do what Hashem wants. One who justifies his actions by claiming that he is not violating the strict letter of the law, while he is fully aware that it is not what Hashem wants, is a rasha.
Chazal teach us in Pirkei Avos (2:4), “Do His will as if it were your own, so that He will do His will as if it were yours. Nullify your will before His, so that He will nullify the will of others before you.” When we fulfill the will of Hashem, we should work on viewing it as our own personal project. Our desire to fulfill it should lead us to imbue our mitzvos with all our energy, joy, and fervor. We should feel satisfaction and accomplishment when we succeed in it, as if it were our own personal desire that it happen.
When it comes to things that we want but Hashem does not, “nullify your will.” Chazal state (Sifra 20:23): don’t say that you don’t eat pork because it is disgusting, rather say that though pork is surely delicious, I don’t eat it because Hashem commanded me not to. In other words, acknowledge that you may have this desire, and annul it by asserting that your desire for Hashem’s will is greater.
The Slonimer Rebbe teaches that wanting Hashem’s happiness is a method for transforming our desires into Hashem’s will. When we imagine giving Him pleasure if we choose to do the right thing, our desire to be righteous will develop. Eventually, the desires we had in the past will fade in the face of our new ones.
The Chozeh of Lublin related that once he found himself faced with a great test. He had a very strong desire for something, and though he sensed that it was improper, he could see nothing explicitly forbidden about it. He thought to himself, I want all of my actions to make Hashem happy. If I do this, will Hashem be happy? He concluded that this deed would not cause Hashem happiness, and decided not to do it. (Later on, he realized that the deed may not have been permitted at all.)
It is said that when Rav Shach was learning as a young man in the Yeshivah of Slutzk, the locals would watch him run to the study hall every morning. The moment he arrived, he hurriedly opened up a Gemara and began to learn. The gentiles thought he was crazy, and they would make fun of him, mimicking his frantic run.
Rav Shach continued this practice until a very old age. A doctor once asked him, “Why do you insist on running to shul every morning? Why not walk at your age? You’ll still get there.”
“No,” answered Rav Shach. “I have to use all of my energy, joy, and fervor for my service of Hashem! I’m no kid any more—who knows how much time I have left for this?”
May we be zocheh to make Hashem’s will our own and give Him happiness!
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