Parshas Bamidbar 5776

In Parshas Bamidbar, Hashem commands Moshe to conduct a census of the entire tribe of Levi, from the age of one month and onward.

Moshe asked: How can I go into people’s tents to count their infant children? This is immodest, and isn’t it a violation of their privacy?

“You do your part and I will do mine,” Hashem replied. As Moshe stood outside each tent, a bas kol (heavenly voice) announced how many people were inside (Rashi 3:16).

Only, how could Moshe have asked such a question? If Hashem commanded him to count infant babies, didn’t this mean that it was permissible for him to enter people’s dwellings to do so? How could Moshe have challenged Hashem’s command, daring to ask that it was inappropriate?

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz answers that Moshe of course was willing to do whatever Hashem commanded. However, Moshe also knew that Hashem’s will is that people behave with derech eretz (proper conduct and respect). Chazal say that “derech eretz preceded the Torah” (Vayikra Rabba 9:3). This means that derech eretz is the basis upon which Torah can be given to Klal Yisrael. A person who lacks derech eretz cannot connect to the Torah (Rabbeinu Yona on Pirkei Avos 3:17).

Moshe was therefore asking: Hashem, please teach me what Your will is concerning how to conduct such a census. On the one hand, You are commanding me to count even infants, which requires entering people’s dwellings. On the other hand, you command all Jews to act with derech eretz. What is Your will in this case?

Hashem confirmed Moshe’s concern, explaining that from the outset, the command was only that Moshe approach people’s tents. Entering would not be necessary, as a bas kol would then provide the information.

The same question can be asked about Hashem’s initial command that Moshe return to Egypt to redeem the Jewish Nation. Moshe replied: “Send the one you always send,” (Shmos 4). Meaning, since Aharon was then leading the Jews in Egypt, it would be improper for Moshe, Aharon’s younger brother, to assume the role of leader from him. Maybe Aharon would be hurt by this (ibid., verse 14, Rashi).

Did Moshe think Hashem did not know about his older brother, Aharon? How could Moshe have challenged Hashem’s command? Whatever He says to do, do it!

Harav Chaim Friedlander answers similarly: Of course, Moshe was ready to obey, but he also knew that Hashem places exceptional emphasis on derech eretz. This led him to think that perhaps this was a test of his derech eretz, to see if he would first consider his older brother’s feelings before taking the mantle of leadership from him.

Chazal state (Avos 3): “If there is no Torah, there is no derech eretz.” This shows that Torah is needed in order to achieve derech eretz. Even though Chazal say that “derech eretz preceded the Torah,” the Meiri explains that this applied to the Avos and others who were capable of reaching such a level of derech eretz alone. For us, however, the only way to achieve complete derech eretz is through Torah.

Torah study provides concrete steps for how one can live a life of derech eretz. Torah study itself refines a person, and the study of mussar in particular shows even the most refined people ways in which they should improve their behavior. In addition, derech eretz as defined by the Torah brings one to a higher level of conduct than even the most well-mannered person could understand on his own.

For example, Torah teaches that we must honor all people. The sages (Bava Metzia 83a) record a Tanna telling his son that even if he prepared his guest a lavish feast like that of Shlomo Hamelech, he still has not properly honored his guest, because a Jew is the son of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov! Even if he is the most unlearned Jew, the honor he deserves is endless. Avraham Avinu went out of his way to help wayfarers, even if they appeared to him as uncivilized nomads. Rabban Yochanan ben Zakai, one of the gedolim of his generation, was always the first person to give shalom to his fellowman, even if it was a non-Jew (Brachos 17a).

My father frequently wrote notes reminding himself to be diligent in honoring his fellow Jews, no matter how lax they were in Torah and mitzvos.

To help motivate people to honor their fellow Jews, Rav Avraham Pam would advise that one look for his fellow man’s positive attributes. If you look hard enough, he would say, you will find something so great in them that in this attribute they are among the greatest individuals of the generation.

To illustrate this, Rav Pam would tell of the maid in his parent’s home. She was an unlearned woman with a grouchy personality, always bemoaning her bitter lot in life.

Once, an elderly widow asked this maid for help. She cried that she was all alone and required costly medical treatment that she could not afford. The maid gave this woman a substantial part of her life savings, and then collected the large sum this woman still needed.

“It’s a loan,” said the maid. “You can pay me back whenever you have the money. The main thing is you should get well.”

The widow began treatment but passed away a short time afterwards.

Mrs. Pam recalled going with the maid to this elderly woman’s funeral and overhearing her saying to herself: “Don’t worry about the loan! I forgive it! I never really expected to get it back. It mustn’t bother your neshama in next world. Go straight ahead to Gan Eden!”

“Look at the awesome greatness that resides within every Jew!” Rav Pam would conclude.

May we be zoche to grow in derech eretz!

Exciting news! Rabbi Krieger will soon be publishing a sefer featuring the “best” of the weekly Parsha sheet. If you would like to share in this celebration, please go to www.bircas.org for further details.