PARSHAS CHAYEI SARA 5776
In this week’s parsha, Avraham sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Yitzchak Avinu. This was a mission of the highest importance for the future of the Jewish Nation. Eliezer prayed to Hashem that He send him the right person, and asked for a specific sign so he would know that this was the one.
The sign Eliezer asked for was that he would approach one of the maidens coming to draw water and ask to be given to drink. If she would offer to give not only him, but also his camels to drink — this would be the girl for Yitzchak. In short, what Eliezer prayed for was that Hashem send him a baalas chessed.
The question is, why just chessed? Is chessed the only important attribute when looking for a wife? What about honesty? What about loyalty? Perhaps a girl would have come along looking to do chessed in order to show off to her friends. Why did Eliezer ask only about chessed?
The chessed that Eliezer was looking for was chessed that stems from good-heartedness. He therefore wanted to see if Rivka would do more than he asked. When he saw that Rivka was willing to give not only him but also his camels to drink, and not because she expected payment, nor because he appeared like a helpless, pitiful being, he realized that Rivka had the trait Chazal refer to as “lev tov,” good-heartedness. The Rambam states in his commentary to Pirkei Avos (2) that lev tov encompasses all good middos. When a person has a lev tov, he possesses all good middos in potential form and they are ready and waiting to be developed.
Still, one could ask: Lev tov may guarantee good middos and proper behavior in matters of bein adam lechaveiro, but what about bein adam laMakom?? What about yiras Shamayim or emuna?
Rav Yechezkel Levinstein says that emunah and yiras Shamayim are readily apparent to anyone ready to observe the world objectively. The problem is, people are wrapped up in themselves and therefore focus on what they are lacking. A good-hearted person is not selfish and wrapped up in himself. Therefore, he can easily come to belief in Hashem and fear of Him, even if right now he is not holding at such a level.
A veteran kiruv expert once told me that the first question of the Mesillas Yesharim, “What is a man’s responsibility in his world?” is something every person asks himself. “Why am I alive?” “What does G-d want from me?” Selfish people ask these questions, too, but they either ignore them or brush them aside with shallow answers. A good-hearted person who is free of bias grows from these questions. Whatever his background, he is usually capable of coming to belief in Hashem.
We see how fundamental the idea of a lev tov is in Judaism from Hillel’s response to the gentile who asked him to sum up the message of the Torah in one sentence (“while standing on one foot,” in his words).
“What is objectionable to you, don’t do to others,” replied Hillel (Shabbos 31a). Hillel explained that this is the introductory step to all Judaism, both bein adam lechaveiro andbein adam laMakom. A person who applies this rule can develop a lev tov, and from there go on to emuna and yiras Shamayim. (Hillel’s questioner ultimately became a ger tzedek.)
Still, many of us feel: “What can I do? I am selfish. That’s just who I am.”
That’s not true, says Rav Levinstein. In the soul of every human being is a need to dochessed. Throughout the western world, childless couples are willing to go to great lengths to adopt children. In many cases these are not people with proven track records as baalei chessed. Nevertheless, they have a yearning to care for another human being. This is an expression of the natural urge people have to do chessed. If a person brings this out, even in small steps, it can develop into a genuine love and even a burning desire to do chessed. If we just start, we’ll start feeling the results and eventually come to a lev tov.
Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky was known as a gadol b’Yisrael and leader of Klal Yisrael in America. In addition, he was known for his efforts to help others, with exceptional sensitivity and insight into their needs.
When asked how he merited such a long life (he died in his nineties), he replied: “I think Hashem added years to my life in order that I could help others. That is the reason why I am alive.”
Until the final period of his life, he made sure that his wife left the telephone connected, no matter how busy he was, or in need of rest. Once, his wife suggested that he was over 90 years old and needed to rest a bit. Rav Yaakov was adamant: “What if someone is in a difficult situation and urgently needs to speak to me? How can I shut myself off to him?”
May we be zocheh to develop a lev tov!
Exciting news! Rabbi Krieger will soon be publishing a sefer featuring the “best” of the weekly Parsha sheet. If you would like to share in this celebration, please go towww.bircas.org for further details.