PARSHAS KI SEITZEI 5776

Parshas Ki Seitzeh begins with the laws of the eishes yefas to’ar, declaring: “When you go out to war against your enemy and Hashem delivers him into your hand and you take captives; and you see among the captives a woman of beautiful appearance…” The Torah then provides a way for Jews at war to deal with temptation to sin (Devarim 21:1-2).

The Ohr Hachaim (ibid.) asks, why is an entire verse used to describe setting out to war before getting to the main point? Let the verse simply say, “If among war captives you see a woman of beautiful appearance.” Why painstakingly relate going to war, victory and taking captives? Moreover, why mention going to war against “your enemy.” Who else does one fight?

The Ohr Hachaim answers that this verse is a hint to the real war that every Jew must fight, against the yetzer hara. The allusion is clear because the yetzer hara is the only being truly defined as “your enemy,” meaning each Jew’s personal enemy (i.e., the Hebrew  term  אֹיְבֶיךָ is in singular, meaning an individual and not national enemy). The Egyptians, for example, were enemies of Klal Yisrael, but never did Egypt declare war on each Jew individually.

This leads to another question, however. How can the Torah state unequivocally: “When you go to war against your yetzer hara and Hashem delivers it into your hands…”? Is it certain that whenever a Jew fights his yetzer hara he wins?

“Yes,” the Nadvorner Rebbe would answer, “the Torah does promise that when a Jew fights his yetzer hara, he will win, but there are two conditions. First, we must recognize that there is a war going on! Right now, within every Jew there is an enemy, and it’s called the yetzer hara!”

For many people this idea is so foreign that it seems an error. “OK, on occasion I feel tempted to sin, but most of the time I’m alright. What’s all this talk about a constant state of war? What war?”

To this, the Rebbe protested: “The yetzer hara is our private, tailor-made enemy, making war against us 24 hours a day. It never sleeps. Even as we sleep, it is plotting ways to lure us to sin. The first step is to acknowledge this! (Chovos Halevovos, Yichud Hamaaseh 5)

“The second step is to fight! It’s up to us to make war against the yetzer hara! As it states (Brachos 5b), ‘one should always pit his yetzer tov against his yetzer hara.’ When the Torah says ‘when you go out to war,’ the lesson is: Wage an offensive! Don’t wait until you’re attacked! And if you make efforts to protect yourself, the Torah indeed promises you victory, because ‘one who comes to purify himself is assisted’ (Yoma 38b),” said the Rebbe.

The Rebbe had practical advice on how to fight: “If you have a desire for something that is forbidden, study the halachos that forbid it, learn the sifrei mussar that show how disgusting it is. Keep at this until you begin feeling a sense of disdain for the sin, until you get into your head that you do not want it.

“If you have a tendency to speak lashon hara, study the works of the Chofetz Chaim until you internalize the shame and the severity of lashon hara. The more you feel repulsed by a certain sin, the less the yetzer hara will try tempting you with it.”

Rav Yerucham Levovitz offers a different strategy. The Torah advises a soldier who is struck with a forbidden desire to postpone it for 30 days. During that time, he can come to his senses (particularly since this female captive is commanded to befoul her appearance). So too, if we would simply hold ourselves back — even momentarily — from plunging into sin, the temptation would quickly fade away. Even the most enticing sin can lose its luster if a person simply waits.

The Sages advise similarly (Kidushin 40a), “If a person sees that his yetzer hara is gaining control over him, he should go to a place where no one knows him, dress in black (i.e., unattractive clothes), etc.” In short, he should take steps to distance himself from sin.

A Jew must look for ways to keep sin at bay, says Rav Yerucham. For one person this means delaying things, for another  it means going elsewhere, for others it means keeping away from certain people, certain parts of town, certain forms of dress. Whatever one’s particular desire is, he must find ways to avoid it.

Rav Wolbe would advise people to record their daily activities in order to keep track of their behavior. As one records his shortcomings, perhaps in forbidden speech, forbidden gazing or neglect of halachos such as brachos, a person should ask himself: Is there a pattern? If there is, try to home in on the right form of resolution to address this problem.

Of note is that this is a practice Rav Wolbe advised people to do year-round. Even though it is now Elul, and many people are more attentive to their behavior and trying to correct their ways, this should not be viewed as an exceptional activity. This should be a familiar, elementary part of every Jew’s life, to keep track of his behavior and make sure to fix what needs fixing.

My father was a prime example of a Jew who always paid attention to his behavior. From his youth until his final days, he was ever alert to record things that needed chizuk. He would write notes to himself to remind him of the evil of anger, or the need to be shomer einayim — and this even when he was regarded as a tzaddik and seemed utterly removed from such things. “Anger” for him meant a momentary sense of anger in his heart, one that never surfaced in any discernible way. Still, why should it be there? he would say in introspection. During his life, he kept most of these notes and notebooks to himself, but after his passing, his latter notebooks came to light and we saw the extent that he worked on himself. If such a person did this, how much more must we!

May we recognize the war that’s going on and fight it!