The Challenge of Teshuva

BY Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah

“This mitzva … is not far away …  but it is very close to you, in your mouth and heart, that you may do it” (30:11-14).

The Ramban and Seforno both explain that this verse is referring to teshuva. Teshuva is what is close to us, and it would seem from here that it is easy for us to accomplish. Only, we know that teshuva is supposed to be very hard. Rav Yisrael Salanter would say that it is easier to learn the entire Shas than it is to uproot one bad midda. How simple can teshuva really be?

The Seforno explains that teshuva is close to you, and therefore you don’t need a navi or sage to help you figure out what you need to work on. Of course, the actual work of teshuva is difficult, and the verse is not saying otherwise. Only, to claim “I don’t know where to start” is not an excuse. An honest person can reveal within himself what his main problems are and what he needs to work on.

This is a critical message for people to internalize. A common complaint today is: “I don’t know what it means to do teshuva; I have no one to guide me.” No, if you would devote even a few minutes to thinking about which of your middos needs improvement, you could quickly have a list of things to start working on. If afterwards you still need help, there are people available for this, such as rebbe’im or masghichim.

The Ramban explains the verse as coming to refute a different obstacle to teshuva. Don’t think: “In my present situation I can’t do teshuva.” No, the verse means that teshuva can be done “at any time and in any place.”

How many people say or think to themselves: “If I would be back in yeshiva, or if I could take a vacation, or if I didn’t have the burden of parnassa on me I could to teshuva.” No, says the verse, you can do teshuva right here and right now. In the very situation you find yourself — which to you seems to rule out doing teshuva — you can and must do teshuva, and it is in fact not far away at all, but close to you.

The Seforno adds an insight. The verse is also showing how to do teshuva. Teshuva is “close to you, in your mouth and heart to do it.” With our mouth we have to confess our sins, and with our heart we must develop more awareness of Hashem.

We all know intellectually what a Jew should be doing with his life and what not. The question is, has this penetrated our heart? Do we feel Hashem’s presence and feel concern that He may not be happy with our behavior? The need to do teshuva must be something we feel, not merely recognize intellectually. This is a challenge, particularly in a world where the heart is overloaded with matters of olam hazeh.

How can we do this? How can we feel Hashem’s presence more? How can we feel the need to do teshuva?

The answer is the alef-beis of mussar: Taking a mussar sefer in hand such as Mesillas Yesharim or Shaarei Teshuva, reading a section and reviewing it at least once to get it clear, then reading or saying over the idea again and again, adding a bit more emotion each time. Let the words penetrate your heart, and when you reach a section that you feel concerns you personally, contemplate this.

Another way to instill awareness of Hashem in one’s heart is through tefilla, which is called the “service of the heart.” To help adding the awareness of Hashem, the Chazon Ish would tell people that “every tefilla is a new lesson in yiras Shamayim.” The very basis of tefilla is that Hashem is the One who directs the entire world. One can internalize this even more in the special prayers of Rosh Hashanah, which emphasize that Hashem is king over all creation. The more one feels in his heart that Hashem is the King, the more aware he is of Him.

Mashgiach of Yeshivas Torah Ore Rav Zeidel Epstein had another suggestion for how to develop awareness of Hashem. When asked how to prepare for Rosh Hashana, he would advise: “Do what you do the whole year. Learn, daven, do chessed — but work on doing it because this is the ratzon Hashem. Think about that, either before or after you do it.” Adding the kavana that “I am now doing the ratzon Hashem” automatically brings Hashem into our train of thought.

In the Novardok Yeshivos, mussar was emphasized year-round, but in Elul extra efforts were made to make yiras Shamayim palpably real. Rav Chaim Shabkas, who learned in the Novardok Yeshiva in Bialystok, describes that before the mussar shmuez’n in Elul, the lights in the beis midrash were extinguished. As the speaker developed his message, he would at odd intervals become so caught up in the emotion of his subject that he himself would cry out: “Hashiveinu Hashem eleicha venashuva!” From the listeners would gush forth a wave of emotion, expressing their desire to come closer to Hashem and do teshuva.

“We were shaking, until we could say with utter sincerity what Rabbeinu Yonah writes in Shaarei Teshuva (1:10), ‘How could I have exchanged an eternal world for a transitory one? I have become like the beasts in following my evil inclination…'” recalls a Novardok talmid.

May we build awareness of Hashem in our hearts and do teshuva!