When Haughtiness is a Mitzvah
Yosef was now a slave in Egypt, and Eishes Potifar, his master’s wife, was attempting to seduce him. Yosef refused her in no uncertain terms, but then added an explanation that warrants study:
“See, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has put all that he has into my hands. There is no one greater than me in this house, nor has he withheld anything from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do this great wickedness, and sin against G-d?” (Bereishis 39: 8,9)
For himself, Yosef needed no explanations. His refusal was unequivocal. Nevertheless, Yosef wanted to make sure that Eishes Potifar realized that she had no chance of ever getting him to sin with her. He therefore explained that such an act would show ingratitude. Yosef thought that she could understand this. However, why did Yosef add that such an act would be a sin to G-d? Eishes Potifar was eager to sin. Why should these words have had any effect on her?
Rav Moshe Sternbuch answers that Yosef meant: Sinning to Hashem for me is impossible. I am not capable of committing such an act. Look, can’t you see that I’m shaking? For me, such a thing is like touching a poisonous snake. Even if I would want to, I couldn’t do such a thing.
The proof that Yosef meant what he said is that when Eishes Potifar tried to force him to sin, he fled for his life. Like one fleeing from a house on fire, Yosef even left his clothes behind. Had he had even a moment to think, he would have realized that his clothes would be used as evidence against him. Leaving them behind showed that Yosef was concerned only with fleeing from sin.
This is a lesson for all of us: See how severe sin is! We too should consider sin as we would a fire, or the deadliest poison. If we know that we have a weakness for a certain sin, the remedy is: Run away from it! An alcoholic knows that if he comes within reach of liquor, his life is in danger. So too, we have to keep far away from whatever weaknesses we have for sin. If the company of certain people may bring you to improper behavior, any contact with them must be avoided at all costs. To us, they are fire.
A Midrash adds details to the exchange between Yosef and Eishes Potifar:
“Hashem reveals Himself to the beloved ones of my father’s house. He appeared to Avraham … Yitzchak … Yaakov … and perhaps will reveal Himself to me, but will find me impure [if I sin]. Reuven lost his birthright and it was given to me, but if I follow you, I will lose my birthright” (Bereishis Rabba 87:5).
What did Yosef think this would accomplish? Did Eishes Potifar care if Hashem did not reveal himself to Yosef, or if he lost his birthright?
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz explains that this was in fact a message Eishes Potifar could understand. “I come from a very important family,” Yosef was saying. “If I commit this sin it will ruin everything. I will lose my entire status.”
If Yosef thought that the wife of a leading Egyptian minister was capable of relating to this outlook on life, then we surely should relate to it. We too stem from the noble lineage of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs. And to the extent that we are fulfilling Hashem’s will, we are that much more beloved to Him. All the more so a ben Torah — he should live every moment imbued with the awareness that he is an elevated being, a rare personage making an inimitable contribution to the entire world. The thought of losing this elite status should be enough to repel him from coming even close to a sin.
For example, if we are confronted by a rude person who uses foul language, will we stoop to his level and start speaking the same way? Or, if an observant Jew is stranded in an airport, hungry and with no food of his own, will he eat from questionable hech’sherim? Not if he is aware of his importance as an elite member of the Jewish People. How can he even think to risk his precious status?
Where is our sense of pride? Do we understand what great people we really are?
Usually, vanity is a corrupt trait of character, but Chovos HaLevavos (Shaar HaKniya 9) writes that when a Jew takes pride in his avodas Hashem, this sort of vanity is good, because it inspires him to further heights in Torah and mitzvos.
The Sages declare, “do not consider yourself wicked” (Avos 2:13). The Rambam (Peirush Hamishnayos, ibid.) explains that a Jew should not lessen his importance. One who makes this mistake and fails to appreciate the greatness of his avodas Hashem will end up doing less than he could. Recognizing one’s greatness, by contrast, will spur him to ever greater heights, as it states about King Yehoshafat (Divrei Hayamim II 17:6), “his heart became haughty with the knowledge of Hashem.” We are all encouraged to acquire this type of haughtiness.
Once, a yeshiva student claimed that he was having trouble overcoming his yetzer hara, and was advised to go to one of the great Torah scholars of the generation. The bachur planned to describe to the Rav his temptations, how he tries to deal with them and fails. Perhaps the Rav would have some advice for him.
Instead, when the bachur entered the Rav’s room, the Rav stood up for him, coming over to him and greeting him with a friendly hug, and a kiss on the forehead.
“I don’t believe we’ve ever met,” said the Rav, “but I can see right away that you are a very important person. I’m not sure you realize just how important you are. I see this in the wisdom reflected in your eyes. In fact, everything about you expresses this. Tell me, for what do I have the honor of your visit to me today?”
The bachur was taken aback. After such a complimentary greeting, he couldn’t possibly share with the Rav any description of his struggles and temptations. Groping for words, he said that he had simply come for a bracha that he succeed in his learning. The Rav blessed him warmly, shaking his hand and continuing to hold it as he escorted him out of his house.
Years later, the bachur would point to this meeting as the turning point in his life, adding: “No one ever told me before how important I was. And the hug and kiss? This changed my whole way of thinking!”
May we recognize our importance and act accordingly!