Empowering Prayer

By Rabbi Moshe Krieger, Yeshivas Bircas HaTorah (www.bircas.org)

In Parshas Vayera, the birth of Yitzchak Avinu comes after the episode in which Avimelech, the King of Gerar, tried to take Sarah as a wife. Avimelech had to release Sarah to save his household from a plague that had rendered them barren. Rashi (Bereishis 21:1) explains that these two episodes appear together to teach an important lesson, that “whoever beseeches Hashem to have mercy on his fellowman, if the petitioner is in need of the same request, he is answered first.” When Sarah was released, Avraham prayed for Avimelech, and since he was in need of the same request, Avraham merited  to be answered, and blessed with Yitzchak.

Harav Yerucham Brodiansky asks: Avraham and Sarah needed the merit of praying for someone else in order to have a child? Hadn’t they amassed enough merits of their own beforehand? Hadn’t they together been teaching emuna in Hashem to the masses? Hadn’t they been active together in doing hachnassas orchim and more?

Moreover, Chazal say (Yevamos 64a) that Hashem made the Avos and Imahos barren because “He desired the prayers of the tzaddikim.” Meaning, He wanted them to pray for children over the course of many years. Clearly, Avraham and Sarah were praying intensely to merit children. Why wasn’t this prayer enough? Why did it need the added merit of praying for someone else? When Yishmael was languishing in the desert after being expelled by Avraham, Hashem stated: “I have heard the voice of this youth” (Bereishis 21:17) and rescued him from death. Although Hagar was praying as well, Hashem heard Yishmael’s prayers, because the prayer of a person in distress is the most powerful (Rashi ibid.). Why, then, wasn’t Avraham’s prayer for himself sufficient?

Answers Rav Brodiansky, the essence of prayer is asking Hashem to grant our request out of mercy, even though we do not deserve it. The entire text of our prayer expresses our utter dependence on Hashem, in order to arouse His mercy. Avraham and Sarah had been davening intensely for years, and had surely been arousing Hashem’s mercy. Only, their case required special mercy. Their nature was such that childbearing would have required a miracle. Perhaps there were other reasons as well, beyond our comprehension, as to why Hashem withheld from them children. What ultimately tipped the scale and got their request answered was when Avraham, amidst his own intense prayer for children, began praying that Avimelech should have children. Now, Avraham’s prayer soared even higher. Within his prayer for mercy was an element of chessed — he was davening that someone else be given children. Heavenly mercy now overflowed for Avraham, and he and Sarah merited a son. Avraham’s prayer for Avimelech was the finishing touch of decades of prayers for children.

This episode teaches us how to strengthen our prayer. Pray for others, too! Perhaps this is why our prayers are said in the plural, to expand our focus to include the needs of others. Indeed, the Ari Zal says that before davening, we should undertake to fulfill the mitzvah of loving our fellow Jew as ourselves. We are expected to think about others in davening, but in addition to this being an act of chessed for them and a fulfillment of “loving our fellowman as ourselves,” we see that through this we are empowering our own prayers!

For many, when it comes to making requests of Hashem in our davening, we focus on our own needs. Consciously or perhaps subconsciously, we may omit or minimize the needs of others whom we should be praying for, as if this will somehow detract from our prayer for ourselves. We see from Avraham that the opposite is true. We stand only to gain from davening for others.

In a different episode of the parasha, Avraham’s actions highlight another way to strengthen prayer. Avraham prayed intensely that Hashem spare the people of Sedom and Amora. After Hashem destroyed these cities, Avraham returned “to the place he had stood before [in prayer]” (Bereishis 19:27). From here, the sages teach (Brachos 6b) that one should designate a “makom kavua,” a specific place for himself in which to pray: “Whoever makes a makom kavua for his prayer—the G-d of Avraham will be his Helper.” Rabbeinu Yonah (ibid.) explains that the sages are referring to someone who values his prayer so much that he even sets up a makom kavua for it. Just like the Shabbos table has its place in his home, and guests have a special room, so too, his prayer is very important to him, and he reserves a special place for it. Of course, the importance he attaches to prayer is expressed in other ways, too. He makes sure to arrive early for prayer and does not rush through it. If he is worried or upset about something, he makes sure to calm down and clear his thoughts before he begins davening. In addition to these and other examples, he even sets aside a permanent place where he davens. Such a person has “the G-d of Avraham as his Helper” — since he is going in the ways of Avraham Avinu, his prayer merits extra siyata deShemaya.

Rav Yitzchak Zilberstein is fond of recalling what happened one night at a shul in Bnei Brak, where two unfamiliar families turned up for maariv. They had been celebrating a sheva brachos by their host, and exactly ten men were present. The two mechutanim had planned to form a minyan at the home of their host, but the youngest boy present kept insisting—”But it’s better to daven in a shul. The Shechina is there and waiting for our tefillos!” The others tried to explain that the shul was far away and this would be an inconvenience, but the boy did not give in.

Frustrated, one of the mechutanim finally told the boy that he was in a hurry to get to a meeting later on that night.

“But davening is also a meeting! It’s a meeting with Hashem, and that’s the most important!” the boy insisted, innocently. “It’ll make your other meeting go well, too!”

With this, the man smiled at the boy, nodded to his mechutan, and the group set off to shul.

May we be zoche to strengthen our prayer!

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Rabbi Krieger’s “Gedolei Yisroel on the Parashah & Yamim Tovim” is now available from the Yeshiva office, Jewish bookstores worldwide and can be ordered online at https://www.feldheim.com/gedolei-yisroel-on-Parashah-yamim-tovim-2.