Shemini

Parshas Shemini

In this week’s Parsha, the Mishkan is now prepared and Moshe calls upon Aharon to assume his role as Klal Yisrael’s first Kohen Gadol: “Draw near to the mizbe’ach …” (Vayikra 9:7).

Only, Aharon was reluctant, embarrassed to begin. Rashi, citing Toras Kohanim, notes that Moshe had to tell Aharon to draw near; until he exhorted him to come forward and bring the korbanos.

“Why are you embarrassed?” asked Moshe, “for this you were chosen.”

This brief episode deserves study. Why was Aharon hesitant about assuming the role of Kohen Gadol? He wasn’t timid by nature. Aharon had always been a leader of Klal Yisrael, and until Moshe’s relatively recent return from Midian, Aharon had been their primary leader (as Rashi notes in Shmos 4:1 that when Hashem first called upon Moshe to return to Egypt, Moshe countered that Hashem had to date always entrusted such tasks to Aharon).

And even after Moshe returned to Egypt, who had the boldness to join him in meetings with Pharaoh? Aharon, unlike the zekeinim, who lacked the nerve to do so and therefore slipped away one by one (Rashi on Shemos 5:1). Aharon was no bayshan. Why now was he embarrassed to offer korbanos as the Kohen Gadol?

The Ramban (Vayikra 9:7) answers that when Aharon beheld the mizbe’ach, the image of the chet ha’egel appeared before him. He recalled that this very object had been for him a stumbling block to sin. Perhaps this sin would prevent Klal Yisrael from gaining atonement, he thought to himself. And so he stood off to the side until Moshe gave him that extra push — “for this you were chosen…”

Simply understood, Moshe’s remark was as if to say: “never mind your sense of unworthiness, you’ve been chosen for this job, go ahead and do it,” but the Sefas Emess takes the words a step further: Moshe told Aharon: “for this you were chosen,” meaning precisely because of this sense of embarrassment of yours you’ve been chosen.

Now, exactly what sin was Aharon embarrassed about? He had only one to his name — his involvement in the chet ha’egel, and even that “sin,” when assessed properly, becomes very slight.[1] Moreover, he had done teshuva me’ahava. If he still felt a sense of embarrassment, then all the more so should we live with a sense of embarrassment toward Hashem when considering what we have accomplished to date and what Hashem expects of us. This is a novel perspective on the trait of bushah, because many of us see it as a drawback, and yet we see here that it is what builds a Jew. It was bushah that got Aharon to this lofty level, and for each and every one of us it pushes us at all times to try to correct all our weaknesses and reach greater heights, which is what Hashem is waiting for.

Embarrassment is a positive quality, to the extent that this trait itself is what made Aharon worthy of attaining atonement for the nation as Kohen Gadol.

But it still sounds like just another good idea or eitzah tovah for how to grow in avodas Hashem. What we should labor to understand is that embarrassment plays a critical role in our life; we must live with a constant sense of yirah that we are not doing enough for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. For a Jew bushah is halacha lemaaseh; it is paskened in the very first Rama in Shulchan Aruch: “by having Hashem before one’s eyes at all times … one immediately comes to a state of fear and submission, and he’s embarrassed from Him at all times.” The greater one’s yiras Shamayim, the greater should be the embarrassment he feels towards Hashem; the two go together.

Harav Shach would often send people seeking brachos to a certain tzaddik of Bnei Brak named Rav Moshe Mandel, who lived with an exceptional sense of anavah.

“Me? Give a brachah? I still have to do teshuvah, I have so much left to correct,” Rav Mandel used to say, but he would advise people: “Who is the greatest person in this world? The one who has more yiras Shamayim and anavah before Hashem. If you acquire this anavah, it’s a segulah to protect you from all sorts of calamities, it’s mamtik es hadinim (it mitigates Hashem’s middas hadin) and the Shechina goes with you at all times.”

So how can we go about acquiring anavah and a sense of embarrassment before Hashem?

Chovas Halevavos (Shaar Habechinah 5) gives us three eitzos:

1) Think about Hashem’s limitless power, and the infinite number of chassadim He has already done for us

2) Consider what Hashem wants from us and where we are actually holding in ruchniyus. Ask yourself: am I living up to what’s expected of me?

3) Imagine that Hashem is looking directly at us every second, whether we are in public or private (or alternatively, imagine a camera is trained on us and filming every moment).

If we contemplate on these ideas and live with this awareness, there’s a very good chance that we will be able to harness the fuel that embarrassment and anavah before Hashem has to offer and become better Jews.

May we be zocheh to sense embarrassment before Hashem and may this push us to greater heights!