פרשת ואתחנן
In this week’s parsha, Moshe Rabbeinu beseeches Hashem to let him into Eretz Yisrael. Rashi notes that the term used to describe Moshe’s prayer—“ואתחנן”— is a specific kind of request in which the hopeful aspirant entreats whom he is requesting to be gracious unto him and grant his request regardless of his merit. Rashi emphasizes that even though the righteous certainly have the right to claim reward for their actions, they nevertheless choose to submit themselves to Hashem with humility as if they are undeserving. Moshe Rabbeinu, according to Rashi, is a quintessential example of one who applied this approach in prayer. Although Moshe clearly had enough merit to gain entry into Eretz Yisrael, Moshe didn’t choose to make demands based on his personal merit but rather davened that Hashem be gracious and grant his request regardless of his own spiritual accomplishments. However, this simple understanding of Rashi deserves some explanation. Rashi implies that really one has the right to rely on his merits and that when one performs mitzvos he gains the entitlement to be paid back by Hashem for his good deeds. However, what kind of “payback” is anyone, even one who is righteous, entitled to? Hashem is showering us with blessing all the time. He gives us air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat! He provides so much for us! Moreover, the Hovos HaLevavos says that we can truly never pay Hashem back since He has cared for us even from our very first moment of existence. We can never compensate for all that He has done for us. So just because we do some good deeds we become deserving of even more than what we have already gotten? What Hashem has done and continues to do for us more than compensates for what good we do in return.
The Sfas Emes explains that although it is true that we are actually indebted to Hashem and can’t rightfully claim more rewards for our merits, that doesn’t mean that our good deeds don’t mean anything. In truth, through our spiritual accomplishments, we can in fact become worthy of receiving greater things and be privileged to Hashem’s gifts. For Moshe Rabbeinu, receiving permission to enter Eretz Yisrael would have been a crowning accomplishment in his avodas Hashem, allowing him to fully actualize Hashem’s will in the Promised Land. Because of Moshe’s spiritual greatness, entry to Eretz Yisrael had special meaning that would not have been appreciated by less refined individuals. The Kotzker Rebbe says that one can even become worthy of having one’s requests fulfilled merely because he has the potential to utilize those gifts for enhancing his performance of mitzvos at a future time. Therefore, Moshe Rabbeinu could have in fact made a powerful appeal to Hashem that he was very deserving of entering Eretz Yisrael since he would have properly appreciated the gift of being able to do so. Nevertheless, Moshe even so chose to act as if there was no reason Hashem should grant his request, placing his broken heart before Hashem with the hope that Hashem would listen to his tear-filled tefillos. This is the beauty of a tzaddik’s prayer.
Therefore, since we all daven without relying on our merits, we shouldn’t think that one’s spiritual stature makes one’s tefilla inherently more powerful. The Midrash in Shmos Rabba 21:4 even says that Moshe Rabbeinu’s tefilla is in fact no different than anyone else’s. What matters in tefilla is how sincerely one davens, not who he is. The gemara in Sanhedrin 44b says that anyone, even one lacking merit, who exerts himself in tefilla will have no enemies from above. Rav Dessler explains that in order for one to truly exert himself in davening he must come to the conclusion that he is truly unworthy before Hashem. When one comes to such a powerful realization and cries out to G-d, placing his heart in His Hands, he eliminates all of the prosecuting angels that can even threaten the continuity of his existence. When one davens to Hashem in such a way, he is building a powerful relationship with Hashem that will ultimately protect him from any claim that the Heavenly Court can make on why he is unworthy. Incredibly, it is through our heartfelt tefillos that we can create a true bond with Hashem and through this we can fully justify our entire existence. This is how Moshe Rabbeinu davened and we should all aspire to emulate this lofty form of tefilla.
However, one may still feel disturbed by the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu’s tefilla wasn’t answered. Despite Moshe’s lofty tefilla, Hashem nevertheless denied Moshe’s request to enter Eretz Yisrael. If Moshe’s tefilla was really so special, why wasn’t it accepted? The Steipler answers that in truth every time one davens properly, his tefilla is answered. It may be true that not every prayer is fully actualized and accepted. However, certainly a truly sincere prayer is answered to a certain extent. For instance, the gemara in Brachos 32b says that even though Moshe Rabbeinu didn’t get to see Eretz Yisrael by entering the land and living there, Hashem did show him the entire country in a prophetic vision nonetheless. We should appreciate that just because the Highest Wisdom has deemed it fitting not to answer our prayers doesn’t mean that Hashem has fully rejected our wishes. We just need to look a little more closely and see for ourselves just how much Hashem has answered us.
There are many pieces of advice one can give as far as how to increasing one’s humility in davening. However, Rav Moshe Mendel encouraged others that a good davening should ultimately bring one to tears. When one cries in his davening and feels as if he has nothing in the world but the hope that Hashem will listen to his tefillos, the gates of heaven are open. Rav Moshe commented that every time he cried during davening, his tefillos were answered.
May we all be zoche to daven to Hashem with true passion!!!