פרשת ויחי
In this week’s Parsha, Yaakov Avinu’s astonishing life is about to come to an end. Before his ultimate demise, Yaakov asks for all of his son’s to gather around his sickbed so that he can bless them. The blessing that he gives to his first born son, Reuven, seems rather strange. Yaakov tells Reuven “You are impetuous like water, and you moved my bed…” Yaakov is referring to the incident in which Reuven rearranged his father’s bed so that he would be dwelling in Leah’s tent instead of Rachel’s. The Midrash elaborates on Yaakov’s “blessing” by saying that although the right of kingship and the right of the Kehuna should have been given to Reuven, the one true firstborn, he lost these precious gifts because of his impetuous behavior.
This Midrash seems somewhat strange. Firstly, the Gemorah in Shabbos (55) says that anyone who thinks that Reuven sinned is gravely mistaken. Why then did he lose these valuable gifts? Secondly, even if there was some slight sin involved, Reuven was only looking out for his mother’s honor. This was certainly a noble intention. So even if he did act a bit too hasty, was his punishment really commensurate with his actions?
R’ Reuven Fein offers an interesting possibility to explain these two difficulties. He begins by substantiating the Gemorah and saying that there was certainly no sin – in the proper sense of the word – on Reuven’s part. Instead, R’ Reuven explains, there was a slight lack of refinement in the arena of patience which Reuven was expected to have. R’ Reuven goes on to explain that although every Jew is required to have this attribute, a leader of the Jewish people is required to excel in this trait in order to properly serve his charge. If he cannot, he will not be successful as a leader. With this explanation, we can now answer our two difficulties. Firstly, Yaakov’s punishment was not a personal vendetta or an act of anger, rather it truly was a blessing. By Yaakov telling Reuven what he was destined for, he blessed his son with the best blessing that a father can offer – clarity. And secondly, Yaakov’s prophecy for Reuven was indeed not overly harsh, but rather it was perfectly commensurate with his actions. Because Reuven had a slight hindrance in the attribute of patience, he was not an appropriate candidate for the leader of the Jewish people.
I would like to now demonstrate how this attribute of serenity and not acting impetuously is integral for every Jew. R’ Chaim Vital, in his renowned Kabbalistic work, explains in great detail how every action we take, even the most seemingly minute ones such as simple verbal exchanges we have with our acquaintances on a daily basis, must be well though out and not performed hastily in any way. The Yalkut in Parshas Nasso adds that when the verse in Mishle (6:18) says not to rush to do a sin, what the verse is really saying is that when a person rushes, he will inevitably sin! If one would merely contemplate the detrimental effects of his proposed sin for a few moments, and weigh out the pros and cons in a level headed way, he would inescapably come to the conclusion that it is not worth it. But the Yetzer Hara is very crafty and designs ways to make us think that if we don’t make our decisions quickly we will lose out in some way or be thought of as stupid.
If one looks at the various “big” sins that have been recorded in the Torah, one notices that a common thread in many of them is this attribute of impetuousness. When Adam ate from the tree of life, had he only waited two more hour that very tree would have been permitted to him and he would have been able to partake of its delights legally. Similarly, when the Jews sinned with the Golden Calf, one of their main dilemmas was the fact that they expected Moshe to return already and his absence represented a challenge for their faith. But had they only waited a few more hours, their doubts would have been resolved and they wouldn’t have sinned at all. We see from these two examples that patience is an integral attribute in preventing sin.
I feel it important to point out that one shouldn’t make the mistake of confusing this lethal attribute of impetuousness with the concept of alacrity which Chazal very much laude. There is a very fundamental difference. The Mesilas Yesharim says that alacrity can come only after one has carefully weighed out the pros and cons of his proposed course of action. Only then can he begin to implement his alacrity. Before that, he would be acting simply out of impetuousness and will probably err.
Perhaps we could conclude with the enigmatic Gemorah in Eruvin which relates that R’ Preidah had a student who was so thick that he often had to repeat the same Gemorah for this student no less then 400 times in order for the student to get it. Well one day, after the usual 400 time lesson, the student had a lot on his mind that day and was unable to concentrate, so R’ Preidah gingerly offered to repeat the lesson another 400 times. In lieu of his tremendous self-sacrifice, a voice came out from the heavens and offered R’ Priedah either another 400 years on his life, or that everyone in his generation should be let into Gan Eden. He chose the latter. The voice responded that since he chose the latter, he would be granted both. R’ Chaim Shmuelevitz asks on this Gemorrah, how could R’ Preidah have agreed to give up so much of his time for one student. Wouldn’t this have constituted Bitul Torah and a misallocation of his resources? R’ Chaim answered that the time it took to teach this student, albeit did not grant R’ Preidah a better understanding of the Gemorah, but it allowed him to develop this integral trait of patience and level-headedness which was crucial to his development as a growing Torah scholar. Indeed we see that not only did he not lose out from his judgment, but he was granted an extra 400 years to make up for any time he may have lost!
May we all be successful in inculcating this integral attribute of patience and level-headedness in our daily decisions!