Vayigash

פרשת ויגש

This week’s Parsha contains the uplifting conclusion of the saga of Yosef’s life. After the many trials and tribulations and being knocked down many times Yosef becomes the uncontested ruler of Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. However, the Torah takes notice of Yosef for a slightly different reason. The verses praise Yosef for the incredible righteousness that he managed to retain in spite of all the hardships he went through. For example, there is a Passuk in Shemos which says that when Yaakov and 70 of his progeny descended to Egypt, Yosef was already in Egypt. Rashi asks, did we not know that Yosef was in Egypt? Rather this verse is coming to teach us that despite the fact that Yosef was located in the most impure of all the lands, surrounded by despicable people, and despite the fact that he had become the ruler of the entire land making himself susceptible to all sorts of spiritual dangers such as arrogance and overindulgence, he remained “Yosef”, never wavering in his righteousness even for an instant. Similarly, we do not need to describe the level of morality it took for Yosef to withstand the temptation he was place in by Potiphar’s wife. In addition, Yosef didn’t even falter in his Torah study. We find that Yosef sent his father a gift of young oxen which was what him and his father were studying right before he was taken away in order to demonstrate that he had continued studying the Torah that he learned from his father with great diligence despite the many taxing situations he was forced to be in. And of course, as we mentioned in last week’s Parsha, Yosef taught the world to trust in Hashem by constantly mentioning Hashem’s name in everything that he did and attributing all of his talents and successes to Hashem. From all this it is clear that Yosef had reached and maintained a tremendous level or righteousness throughout his sojourn in the land of Egypt.

However there is another aspect of Yosef’s righteousness which is perhaps overlooked by many and is also mentioned in this week’s Parsha, and that is Yosef’s incredibly developed trait of being considerate of other’s feelings, even in the face of tremendous difficulty. In the beginning of this whole episode, Yosef’s brothers decided to kill him. They threw him into a waterless pit which was filled with snakes and scorpions with the intent to kill him. Then afterward, they sell him to band of Arabs who in turn bring Yosef down to Egypt and sell him to Potiphar. Had Yosef wanted, he could have found a lot of ground, perhaps even justifiably so, to be furious with his brothers and seek revenge in any way he could get it. Yet Yosef does not do this. He goes out of his way in this week’s Parsha to not only not be angry with his brothers, but to discover any way he could help them to overcome the difficulties they were going through while trying to readjust to the idea that there brother was still alive. For example, the Ohr Hachayim asks a powerful Kushya. He asks, “How could Yosef have not let Yaakov know all those years that he was still alive? How could he let his father suffer like that”? He answers that although it was very difficult, Yosef was sensitive to how embarrassed his brother’s would feel after their father found out that indeed Yosef was still alive and had not perished as his brothers had reported. So although Yosef caused his father grief by not informing him that he was still alive, he made a value judgment that it would be better to allow that grief then to embarrass his brothers, keeping in line with the Gemorah which says that one should through himself into a fiery furnace before embarrassing his fellow. From Yosef’s sensitivity, we find how not only was he not angry with his brother’s for the misery they had caused him, but he reached the point of genuine caring and empathy for each one of them.

Another example of the incredible level of empathy Yosef had reached is in the way he responds to his brothers when he finally reveals himself to them. Yosef tells them not to fear and not to feel bad, because God allowed this to happen so that we could all live. He was referring to the fact that had he not been sold, he would never have become the ruler over Egypt and his brothers and father would certainly have perished during the seven long years of famine. R’ Yitzchak B’lazar points out an interesting foible in the human psyche. He paints a picture where someone approaches another person to apologize for something they have done to harm that person. There are times when the one apologizing is sincere and there are times when he is not so sincere. In any event, the one being apologized to has two possible reactions to that apology. Sometimes we find that he refuses to forgive the person who wronged him and yells at him for the terrible pain he had put him through. But other times we find that the person being apologized to responds by saying, “Don’t worry about it, you didn’t do anything”. Although on the surface, this response seems a lot more loving then the first one, R’ Yitzchak B’lazar explains that very often, there is something extremely unhealthy going on under the surface. Very often, the person being apologized to is so hurt, that they don’t even want to hear the offender speaking. They would rather remain with their hatred, instead of accepting the person’s apology. They want the person to remain feeling guilty and they desire to preserve their hatred in their heart, so they respond by telling the person not to worry, that nothing happened just in order to shut the person up. In contrast, look how Yosef responded to his brothers. Not only did he personally completely forgive them, but he attempted to communicate to them that there was nothing to feel guilty about and that his sale actually resulted in the saving of all their lives. Instead of promoting the negative feeling that had been generated in their hearts, he subtly replaced them with positive and productive feelings in order to cover their shame completely. Such was the level of this great Tzadik and indeed, the level that all of us are capable of reaching in the caring about our fellow human beings.

So important is this trait of displaying honor and respect to our fellow, that the Gemorah in Gittin asserts that it was the cause for the destruction of the second temple, which is even worse then the destruction of the first temple as is demonstrated by the length of time it has laid fallow. The first temple was destroyed for the three cardinal sins, which are obviously terrible, yet the Gemorah asserts that the sin of not fostering honor and respect for our fellow is even worse. We are responsible to learn from Yosef’s shining example and show concern and reverence for every one of our peers by preserving their honor in every way, even when they have genuinely hurt our feelings and caused us great pain and suffering, and through this, we will certainly merit to see the end the long exile which we have be placed in due to our neglect of this important task.

May Hashem guide us to develop a true sense of admiration and respect for our fellow and follow in the footsteps of our holy ancestors!