Vayigash

פרשת ויגש

This week’s Parsha depicts the end of Yaakov Avinu’s 22 year ordeal of being separated from his beloved son Yosef, and of the dramatic meeting between Yosef and his brothers. By the end of the Parsha, the entire family is reunited in both heart and soul, and things are really looking bright for the future of the Jewish people. The Torah, in describing these spectacular reunions, uses a lot of unique expressions which we don’t necessarily find in the rest of the Torah. First, the Chumash describes Yosef’s powerful display of emotion in the tears he shed when he saw Binyomin for the first time. Then, when Yosef reveals his true identity to his brothers, again his emotions are aroused and he wept copiously. And finally, when father and son are brought back together, there is an emotional outpouring in which Yosef cries on his father’s shoulder and Yaakov recites the Krias Shema.

We find that although these momentous occasions were certainly cause for great emotion, Chazal were unwilling to attribute the Torah’s depictions as mere sentiment driven outbursts, but rather Chazal chose to identify the meaning of the Torah in recording these feelings. For example, Chazal say that Yosef cried on his brother Binyomin’s shoulder because he foresaw through divine inspiration that the two Holy Temples were to be built in Binyomin’s portion of Israel, and eventually would be destroyed, and Binyomin in turn wept on Yosef’s shoulder because he too saw that Yosef would have the Mishkan constructed in Shilo, and that it too would ultimately be razed to the ground. Furthermore, when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, and he was sobbing, Chazal say that this was because he was mourning their fate that they would ultimately need to go into exile. Why is it that Chazal feel the need to explain these displays of emotion with such great depth behind them? Why did they not suffice to assume that each of these giants were merely feeling the natural human passions that any of us might feel in similar circumstances? How were Chazal so convinced that there was so much profundity attached to these sentiments?

The key to understanding these difficulties lies in the Gemorah in Berachos. The Gemorah (24) relates to us the moving story of Chana and her husband Elkana. The Gemorah teaches us that Chana had no children for many years, and in desperation, she poured out her heart to Hashem in prayer, using many different angles to try to persuade Hashem (so to speak) to give her a child. During that prayer, however, the Gemorah teaches us that she was in control of herself at all times, only expressing what she thought to be appropriate as a prayer to the Master of the world, and not letting her tremendous desire for children overpower her to the point that she would begin to act recklessly. At the height of her prayer, when her emotions were piqued, she did not let a sound escape her lips, and only prayed under her breath, because this is what she deemed to be suitable at the time. The Gemorah derives an important principle from here. The righteous are in control of their heart, whereas the wicked have their heart rule over them. When a righteous person expresses emotion, it is because he deems that emotion to be a service of God at that time, and if in fact he determines it not to be fitting, he suppresses that emotion. Whereas the wicked person expresses whatever emotion surfaces, and does not consider, (or is in fact incapable of considering) the consequences.

With this explanation, we can now easily understand how Chazal felt so certain that these titans were not merely letting out their natural feelings, but rather were expressing emotions which they had carefully considered to be correct responses to the situations around them. Indeed, throughout the entire episode of Yosef’s reunion with his brother, we find that each brother was clearly in complete control of their feelings. Firstly, when Yosef sees his brother Binyomin for the first time, his emotions are understandably aroused, but he did not feel that it was the right time to reveal himself to his brothers, so for their sake, he suppressed those powerful emotions and went into his private chamber in order to weep. Later on in the Parsha, when Yosef finally does feel that the brothers have learned what was necessary out of the whole ordeal, and is about to reveal himself, he makes sure that the Egyptian valets who were in the room with him, leave so that his brothers shouldn’t feel embarrassed in front of them. And finally, toward the end of the Parsha, when Yaakov sees his favorite son after being away for so many years, instead of Yaakov savoring that glorious first moment in which he first laid eyes on his son, Chazal teach us that Yaakov was reciting the Krias Shema. Yaakov chose to take all of his indescribable joy and relief that he was feeling at that moment and dedicate it to Hashem, and to thank Hashem for all the kindnesses He had done for him over all the years. Such is the level of mastery a Torah scholar is expected to have over his feelings.

Obviously reaching such a level in which one has such complete control over one’s passions is not a simple thing, but I would like to offer some practical advice which one can use to achieve this monumental accomplishment. I believe that the key lies in the first Rama in the Shulchan Aruch. The Rama quotes the verse, “שויתי ה’ לנגדי תמיד” – a person must have God in front of their eyes at all times. In other words every action that a person does, he must consider if he is doing it for the sake of Heaven, or for his own purposes. He must carefully weigh his actions with the scale of the Torah in order to ensure that those actions are in line with the Torah’s teachings, and if in fact he cannot find a source in the Torah for what he is doing, he must desist from such activities. When a person lives with this reality that the Rama is teaching us, he will train himself daily in the art of control. Eventually, this control will spread to every aspect of his consciousness, and he will hone his ability to know God’s will at any given moment, and be capable of successfully executing that will to the point that he will not be swayed by his petty emotions if they are not in line with God’s will. Such a level is quite difficult to reach, but through constant training, it is certainly attainable. The Tzidkas Hatzadik says that a good way to start off if by setting aside twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening in which a person contemplates this important concept of “Shivisi” that we explained. I would just like to conclude with a true story. I once visited a great Torah leader who is well known for his ability to perform miraculous acts and helps people in supernatural ways. While I was there, I asked him what his secret was that he was able to perform such wondrous acts. He responded by pointing at a chart he had on his wall which read simply, “שויתי ה’ לנגדי תמיד”. He told me, “You see that sign? When I talk to you, when I walk down the street, when I study Torah, all I am thinking about is that sign and what it means. That is the only way I am able to do what I do”.

May all merit to master our emotions completely so that we may serve Hashem with all of our hearts!