פרשת וישלח
This week’s Parsha opens with the Yaakov’s return to his homeland, after being away for many years. Yaakov’s first concern upon his return is his brother Eisav, and more specifically how to deal with Eisav’s unresolved hatred toward him for seizing the blessings from their father, Yitzchak. In order to attempt to mitigate this hatred, Yaakov prepares himself in three ways. Firstly, he prays that Hashem spare him Eisav’s wrath. Secondly, he prepares in elaborate gift for his estranged brother filled with row upon row of expensive animals and precious stones. And thirdly, Yaakov takes the necessary precautions should his diplomacy fail, and does everything necessary to prepare for a full blown battle with his brother. The commentaries on the Chumash point out something very interesting about Yaakov’s behavior. Yaakov had been gone for over thirty years, and after all, Eisav was still his brother. This being the case, why did he not even entertain the possibility that perhaps Eisav had forgiven him? Was it completely impossible for Yaakov to consider that Eisav’s may have just let bygones be bygones? Why did this thought not even occur to Yaakov?
R’ Leib Chasman explains that from this event in the Torah, we can deduce how far a person’s bad character traits will take him from the path of truth. Yaakov did not consider the possibility that Eisav had a change of heart because being a Yeshiva student, he was well trained in the tactics of the evil inclination, and he knew the Mishnah in Avos, “Conceit, lust, and honor bring a person out of the world”. Eisav, who’s honor had been slighted, could not let go of his vendetta, even after over thirty years. As is we see from Eisav, pursuit of honor not only removes a person from the next world, it removes him from this world as well. What kind of life can a person have when they are constantly harboring resentment toward everyone who has hurt them, even when often times, this “insult” is merely a figment of their imagination? Such is the extent of havoc that unrefined character traits can wreak in a persons mind.
R’ Leib points out further that these poor qualities can be so deeply entrenched in a person’s psyche, that even when he knows they are hurting him, he can’t let go of them. Chazal say that a wicked person knows his actions are intolerable, but he is powerless to act differently because his evil inclination has such a strong hold on him. This can be demonstrated from Eisav’s acceptance of Yaakov’s bribe. Yaakov knew that Eisav’s hatred for him was surpassed only by his greed, so he pitted one bad trait against another. This tactic actually succeeded and when Eisav met with Yaakov, despite his thirty four years of festering hatred, he embraced him and lavished kisses upon Yaakov. Such is the extent of a person who is ensnared by his evil inclination to the point that he is completely powerless to express his own will.
The Rambam in Hilchos Deos says that it is natural for a person to emulate the people around him, therefore it behooves every Jew to be surrounded by righteous and learned people. If however there are no such people in the vicinity, a person must separate himself from humanity, and move out to the desert and the caves in order that he not learn from their ways. Such are the measures a person must take to ensure that he is not influenced by the people around him, and that he not begin to habituate himself with evil qualities. Once a person has indeed fallen prey to the evil inclination, and it has managed to achieve a foothold in his heart, there is no telling the depravity that he will inevitably stoop to, even against his will as we have seen from Eisav. Conversely to Eisav, we find that Yaakov had indeed mastered his personality and risen above the grips of his physical desires. He was only able to do this because he chose to consistently battle his evil inclination and put all of his efforts into becoming a servant of Hashem. The verse says, “And Yaakov came to the city of Shechem, complete”. Chazal teach us that he was complete in three ways, monetarily, (in other words, the gift he gave to Eisav did not detract from his financial holdings), physically, (he was healed from his skirmish with Eisav’s angel), and in his Torah, (meaning that miraculously, he was protected from losing his faith even though he was around such wicked people for so many years.) The Maharsha comments on this Chazal that each of these three gifts that Yaakov was given upon his arrival in Shechem were miraculous. However, this Maharsha is slightly difficult. I certainly understand how the first two things mentioned were miraculous. But on this last point, the commentaries ask, what was so “miraculous” about Yaakov’s protection? Do Chazal not say, “Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except for fear of Heaven?” This being the case, it was Yaakov’s free will which should be credited with his continued faith, and not a miracle! The answer given is that Yaakov was put in a situation which no normal person could emerge victorious. He was in Lavan’s house for twenty years. He had to do battle with an angel. These are tests which are not really possible to withstand. But chazal are teaching us that when a person does everything they can to succeed in battling the Yetzer Hara, from the Heavens he will be helped to do the “impossible”, and to win in such a battle.
The Sefer Chassidim (93) explains that although a person can try very hard to retain his faith, and to fight his evil inclination, nonetheless, nobody could succeed on their own, without the help of Heaven. As the Gemorah says regarding the evil inclination, “Every day he wakes up with the sole desire to kill you, and were it not for the aid of Heaven, he would certainly succeed”. However, the Sefer Chassidim says something very encouraging based on the Yerushalmi in the first chapter of Peah. He says that the first time a person faces his Yetzer Hara, it is a nearly impossible challenge to overcome. However, if a person overcomes this challenge, and manages do to the right thing three times, from then on he is guaranteed to have a propensity to continue doing the right thing. The Penei Moshe adds that this is provided that he continues doing the best he can to maintain his current level of discipline.
Based on what we have seen, it is self evident that a person must do everything in their power to constantly improve their character by studying the works of our sages and inculcating their teachings into their actions. R’ Yisroel Salanter’s students once found him in a room repeating over and over again the Mishna in Avos, “Conceit, lust, and honor remove a person from the world”. When questioned about his odd conduct, R’ Yisroel explained that the following day, he had a meeting with one of the wealthy people in the city of Bialistock, and he was concerned that when he entered into that world of affluence, his heart may be led astray and he may come to covet this man’s house or wealth in his heart. In order to render himself impervious to these dangers, even the great R’ Yisroel felt that it was incumbent upon him to prepare for his encounter with his evil inclination by constantly repeating this Mishna and driving its message home to his heart.
May we all merit to refine our characters by never ceasing to exert all of our efforts to grow!